Heavenly weekend

I learnt that Auntie's situation is somewhat controlled with the tenant and there's been some kind of equilibrium reached. His bullying found its limits with the solidarity of women friends as well. I'm forever grateful and admire the courage and strength of auntie.

Friday evening: unbelievable Karaoke session - with so much gusto, variety and talent. It was so satisfying.

Saturday evening: unbelievable Jazz ballet performance at the parc. The music, choreography and the surrounding scenary all were just amazing. The fountain changed the color once in a while and it was just the perfect summer night performance, sexy, romantic, humourous and original. The mango, strawberry, pineable hot pepper ice cream was just wonderful. But I realize I miss Adam and two other friends who moved away. I wonder if that's why the area of my heart chakra hurts.

Sunday: went for amazing brunch and went for a walk on Mt St. Bruno. We got to meet a turtle size of a mid-size frying pan. It was a surprise. Apprently it is a good omen. I also found a 4 leaved clover - I started to think I was losing touch.

So far, this has been an excellent weekend.

Sequal to Super Auntie

The tenant from hell was planning to make a few bucks by building some pic-nic sites (mostly for drinking and fighting rather) with another shady charactor. Wednesday with Policemen insisting all neibours to watch the sites were taken down.

Stories from Korea are sometimes more unreal than dramas on TV. I guess I should be grateful that the war did not happen in Korea at least.

Do I have the power to make something happen or am I just an observer and a coward? I feel like a fake sometimes. But where is the court?

Super Auntie

As the violent neibour of my aunt in Korea has been acting up lately, I had a couple of sleepless nights. He is such a bully he instills fear in all the people in the neibourhood and even the officials stand by and let him get away with breaking laws and threatening the people in the neibourhood.

I think Auntie is fed up with everyones, complete cowardice behavior and hiding behind their fears, so she wrote the request to the minister's website. So all of the misbehavior of everyone is in public domain without naming names. I feel so amazed at her courage and of course, their response was immediate. Officials called and visited all day. I do fear for her safety but then again the bully does what he feels like doing anyways and it won't help to let him get away forever bullying.

I pray that Archangel Michael protects her with iron armours and other angels 24/7.

I'm blessed to have friends who are so fun to be with and have generous, loving sprits. I found out again at the Birthday parties of my 2 sisters.

Encouraged

I have been encouraged lately. One of the reason was that I got a call from this technology place asking for a phone interview. It looks like they want the 2nd interview but that needs to be confirmed next week. Interview fairy -the one who trained me for hours - did a wonderful job. Also when I share even about my insecurities and even "failures" people seem to light up.

One woman yesterday told me that "Never underestimate you or your words", with teary eyes. Someone else said one of my quality was "cheerful personality". I felt lighter.

I found out HSP Dahn yoga has the reputation for being "Landmark for the body". I am not surprised. I feel rejuvenated these days. So, I'm expecting wonderful miracles to come my way.

Reflections and messages

I have been discouraged lately. It felt like I was kicked in the stomach a couple of times. I went to do my first theory course for driving and It wasn't bad. I got a call from JC and met him at a park. As I mentioned that I have a phone interview he started to prepare me in almost millitaristic fashion. I started to feel better as he got on with the logical explanation of what qualities I have and how they are valuable.

So, I'm ready for the interview and I felt relieved. In the evening I was thinking about the MC foundation project. I really did not have any handle on how I could go about finding the billionaire or the mega fundraiser. I felt suppressed. Then I remembered the presentation of John Hatch about getting 2.2 M people to give $1 a day. Then I felt lit up. It also made sense to me to get a project where an average person could participate and enroll others to make a huge difference. So I felt so much relief and thought I could stand for being part of that project.

I know that I can own and enroll others in that conversation.
So I feel light.

I had spoken with Ileana and Aunt - seems to feel much lighter today. What a lucky person I am.

Dream and injury

During the conference about a week ago, I had this dream that someone brought a puppy to me. I was concerned that this was going to be very distracting running around and barking. But when the puppy was put on the floor, it just spread its 4 legs and would not move. I felt bad for it and picked it up but was very weak.

On my way home by bus from Ottawa, I stood up to retrieve something from the over-head compartment and I heard this loud click around one of my knees and I was forced to sit down. I was in shock and was not sure if my left knee would support my weight. I managed to get out and massaged my knee and was able to walk home with my back pack but it just wasn't feeling right.

I went to HSP center to do some long overdue excercise and Crystal gave healing on my knee. After about an hour I could feel that it's about 60% back to how it was before. I could not move my foot left and right without feeling eerie discomfort but now I could. I still have problem bending all the way.

But the information from the injury is like - someone just knocked my knee - like one of the gangsters to collect the money owed.

I spoke with aunt in Korea. She tells me that students are not allowed to give salute to Korean flag anymore. It felt like being knocked off my knee as well. She's having trouble with the carpenter again. She doesn't need things but she says she needs me. I'm mentally preparing for that eventuality.

But it was so nice to come home to loving friends and mom.

There seems to be a definite water change happening - my originating circle and the future conversation.

Results conference

I was at the Results conference for the last week. It was fabulous in many ways and exhausting. There was a point I could not handle one more word coming out of somebody's mouth. It is work to listen to people.

I like the fact that there will be emphasis and funding for expansion. I like the new Model for fundraising - although it sounds tad manipulative. But Oklahoma group went from 12-15K to 50k and they are experimenting with Seattle, Denver and Houston.

I would very much like to be in that experiment.

Jim Kim was fabulous speaker and so was Barbara - the executive director. It is amazing to see so many staff.

North Korea and Enron guy

The major news items yesterday evening and today are the North Korea's missile testing and Ken Lay (Former Enron CEO) dying of heart attack.

The current South Korean government that's been acting pretty much like a pump that sucked the wealth out of South Korea to pour it down Kim's pocket is now losing ground everywhere. The physical attack for the potential opposition leader was a last cry, which of course, acted against its interest.

So Kim will, within a year, lose the abundant supply of wealth and I guess he wanted more from US, since it has more money. This is such a young, bratty spoiled behavior and South Korean leaders made it much worse by giving it what it asked for and more in the last few years.

Ken - I always wondered how he was able to keep the smile, smurk, arrogant confidence even with hand-cuffs on - like who are these monkeys who don't recognize his importance. I guess he finally realized he will go to jail, no matter whose shoulders he's been rubbing with in the past. So died at 64 years old. Reminds me of Tolstoy's "What men live by". Men don't know what they need.

More home improvement

Since I moved in to this appartment 5 years ago, I had a long bed sheet hanging on this bottom window. I finally took that down and covered it with papers with leaves motif. It looks so much nicer. I feel complete. I still want to paint and put in that last light fixture but I don't know when I will.

This paper has that Korean paper sliding door look and I feel cozy and it looks clean.

Yesterday, I ran into this couple who in my book has the most perfect relationship. The husband saw me first and almost did not recognize me. He said I looked great. The wife and I talked about the "foundation project. Then I was shoe shopping (got cute green shoes) and had some Italian Ice cream with a good friend. The weather was just so perfect. Happiness can be so simple.

Victory - health front

HSP yoga is paying off. I lost 3 lbs. Just from doing the intestine exercise. I did not expect it. Along with a sense of cleansing myself I feel more confident because I now have tools to make myself better anywhere, and I don't need to depend on pills or some other mysterious mixture.

Someone is tempting me to go to Korea or Dubai. I'm intrigued and wonder about it.

I also heard the rumour that Gates are planning to invest in Micro Finance.

My psychic told me that I'm looking for 3 in one deal - money, career and relationship. It's suppose to come together in the cookie cutter way - in very clear shape and size.

Two dreams:
Kind of a warning: The guy will behave with me exactly as he has been doing with his other girlfriends.

I'm in NY and looking for old friend. She seems to be alone with the child - her husband seems absent.

Explore the unknown

After waiting for a month and half for half hour phone meeting, finally it was done yesterday - about the foundation. It was discouraging and encouraging at the same time. It was enough to say no way not for me but for some reason I was willing to explore further. He was saying to be really worthwhile, the foundation should be able to raise about 4M per year after a couple of years of operation. Which means we need a mean sugar daddy/momma or someone who can raise millions of dollars without upfront salary promise OR both. So Cathy and I will explore who could be these people. Once we locate, he is willing to meet with them.

So I'm left with where will I generate income for myself? I did apply for this position found almost accidentally. I was a reference for someone applying for the company and at the end I asked about me and she said please send your CV. So I did. We shall see.

I enjoy my HSP yoga classes. I had a private lesson yesterday, because nobody else showed up, and I had this exercise to open my heart chakra and it still hurts.

Philanthropy

There was this big announcement that the 2nd richest man in the world will give most of his money to the foundation run by the richest mand in the world. I have new faith in humanity and the announcement included that a fraction of their wealth like 6 billion could eradicate Malaria.

I had a call with my partner for the big project in Calgary. It feels a bit more real now -- still in the stage of remember/forget.

I feel there are right signs from the Universe like the announcement above. Besides auntie will be praying with the special rosary.

Reference to end of measurement of time

I found the following comment in a book and and it is oddly similar to the dream I had about "The end of time".

"I thought of the Mayan calendar, which ends in 2012. Many people believe that this signals a coming of apocalypse. Yet the angels had always assured me that 2012 was the end of the measurement of time...not the end of time itself. The angels said that wearing watches and using calendars kept us locked in the third dimensional illusion of time. When we stopped measuring time mechanically, all seeming limitations would be lifted for us. We'd be able to re-access our naturally miraculous powers."

Hmmm. Interesting.

Impossible Promise

I was on the call with other Power and Contribution participants. There was a lady who expressed exactly what I'm going through and was relived to know that I'm not alone.

It is a terrifying experience to pursue what is your dream to the degree that we're willing to explore.

I had a call with someone on my team for Partnership Community coach this morning. We each saw something that wasn't available before and it was uplifting to be supported and to support another. This was the definition of play - give and take with no intent. That was what we did and just shifted a whole thing around. Loving this.

Chi and dream

The rythm dance teacher checked my chi and as initially diagnosed, the chi in my stomach area seems pretty blocked. Slight touch made me scream. Also I felt sharp pain all over my abdomen. She says because I started exercising, I would initially feel more pain because the cells are now awake to feel it. I introduced Rafika to the class and we had fun giggling through the class. Looking through their web site, I was impressed to find how this movement dahn yoga all over the world and apprently it could give you lots of energy and motivation after training for some time. I cannot wait.

I had a dream that where I used to work was in shambles. There was garbage everywhere and could not see people. I found, by accident, that there's a small package destined to me but someone wanted to borrow it so I let it go.

When I had a conversation with Ileana in 2004, I was willing to start from zero but not willing to be dragged down with anyone. So here I am willing to start from zero. This could possibly mean letting go of all I know, what I feel and think I'm good at.

The package that I sent to Aunt was received. As usual, Granma hijacked items that were not destined for her, like the rosary I got with pictures on both side of each beads. I meant for Aunt to have it since she dreamt of it 10 years ago. Of course, I know that this happens every single time but I keep forgetting. When will I ever learn?

More strange dream

After a 3 hour dancing on the Funky town disco floor, I had fallen asleep like a brick. It was fun and 2 friends who never went before said that they had fun and want to go back.

So in the morning, I had this dream that I was invited to a dinner put on by Angelina Jolie. She was cooking something real simple - like hot chicken sandwich and was busy serving, eating and wanted to hear about the fundraising project. I'm trying hard to keep her attention and was frustrated and annoyed that I could not get it, because there were about 12 others who wanted the same thing. She did however wrote down everything that I said on a small notebook. She seemed interested.

Fundraising

I was at this fundraising workshop all day today, part of the Summer session put on by Management and community development department of the Concordia University.

We had a diverse group of people from Hockey, Hatian orphanage, Cancer patient support, etc.

It was interesting to find out that we are doing mostly the right thing except for the part of acknowledging and upgrading donors. I was frightened at the thought of being the fundraiser day in and day out as a job. I wasn't sure if I could handle it. But then that is where I want to be powerful and effective. Because that would be the key to the kingdom. Maybe this is just a young conversation to be upgraded.

Well the session was animated and not a second was dull. The group was dynamic and no sappy noise was to be found.

I'm empowered to go back to the basics. Great letter, great phone call, have a meeting and have a powerful ask.

The job of the fundraiser is to acknowledge and cultivate. Always to have 7 ways to thank them. I'm going to be that person.

Airtime problem

I've been impatient with those who need to talk. Although what they say is mostly interesting I sometimes want to hear what other people have to say or just not hear the same voice for too long. Is this a disease of some kind?

The story with uncle's estranged family is getting more and more misterious. Now his estrange wife has completely lost credibility and we now suspect any of her story is true.

Life can be more incredible then drama sometimes.
I should dig into that driving manual.

Itching to make money

I registered for this Gi-gong, Korean dance/percussion excercise class today. For a few minutes, I thought it would be nice to become an instructor for something like this. Teach 3 days a week and do what I feel like for the rest of the week.

Given I have this lead for a job in "Technology", by thoughtful ex co-workers who I appreciate very much, as I was looking through some beautiful summer dresses I'm thinking - hmm, maybe I should start working again so that I can become a fearless consumer. I am tempted and losing patience.

When I called Alex last time his voice sounded all but choked and the sound came out all stressed. So I said we should do the call another time. Now I'm kind of stuck and don't want to face that again.

How do people keep on when there are not enough encouragement? I miss my partner in crime - Cathy.

I'll request the call to be delayed for when Cathy comes back in town and that she can be with us.

More dreams

Yesterday I had a dream that rain storms are coming and that the water is reaching the windows. I had to rescue everyone out of the house first then I left.

This morning I had a dream that I was working at this all French technology company. People were not friendly and although they say it is a "technology" company, what they cared about more was colors, looks, and esthetics. Funny I got a lead for a job at a French company today in the mail.

I registered for the Summer session on Community development at Concordia university. All over in my calendar it is supposed to be next week. Someone sent me an email mentioning the keynote speech - Make poverty illegal - then I thought wait -- that is supposed to be next Sunday. Then reading the brochure, I realized it is this week. So I scrambled myself to get there. Although I missed a good part of it in the morning but it was fabulous, nonetheless.

Some recommended readings:
Against Forgetting by Carolyn Forche.
Transforming ourselves, transforming the world by Brian Murphy (The presenter of the session).

When the Sun goes down, you can see the stars" - how knowledge blinds us from all other possibilities.

Terror comes from facing the big issue. Or being the private person in public.

Power and force, notion of empowerment individual vs. group.
Private vs. public. According to him there's no dichotomy.

Consciousness is a permanent discomfort.

We deliberately delude ourselves and when we're in silence we allow for the under current to come out and that could be something we experience as madness. However, the revolution, will not be "less" mad. We should embrace the madness - not try to manage or cope.

How to live an authentic life: Authenticity - root comes from author, as in self. In our aspiration, we ask for more in honor of what we already have. This is verifiable in the public domain as solidarity.

What is enough? How much is enough? It lives in the domain of quality and not in the domain of quantity.
At school you're taught that you're not enough.

The way to make change is to change. The verb to change is not transitive, doesn't require an object.
"Make poverty illegal". "Guaranteed annual income".

When we recover our innocence, we can forgive.

Those who drawn are those who cling to the shore.

Conclusion, in times of catastrophy, we must go into the river. and "We are enough".