Summer in Montreal

Things are getting hot and humid here. I need to get the Air Conditionner in or I will have sleepless nights all summer long. It is so great to take time to relax, not think, consider what I want to do each day and not having to fit it into a tight schedule.

I walked into the Cathedral bookstore but could not find the Margaret Mary Alacoque's auto biography. I'm intrested in her story of Sacred Heart of Jesus. I have this notion that Jesus doesn't show himself as often as Mary shows herself.

As always Aunt is the walking talking encyclopedia on the matter.
I am shopping around for a driving course and also for colors for my walls.

What have I learned?

Geometry, Economics, Circuits, Algebra, Boundary Valued Problems, Calculus, Linear Algebra, Korean, English, French, Spanish.. these are some of the countless courses and workshops I have taken in my life. I tell everyone there's one course that I took that really made the biggest difference in my life and I use everyday - it is typing class. Aside from that I must say the Landmark courses made the biggest impact in my life. The relationships, distinctions and support are what I can go back to making what I want out of my life possible.

Since the Bermuda - New paradigm for performance, and being turned down for Results job got my brain going full time, even though I'm super lazy in bodily action these days. I am beginning to question everything. What is important to me, what makes me effective and why, what do I take for granted that I have been taking for granted that may need a re-visit and re-examination.

Dreams and coincidences

I was talking to my aunt this morning and described an unusual rosary I found in the St-Teresa's church in Bermuda. My aunt is Teresa and the name is from the same saint - the little flower. Each of the beads has a picture of Mary on one side and a picture of Jesus on the other side.

She tells me that she saw this rosary over 10 years ago in one of her dreams. I could not believe how accurate she was describing it to me.

This is one of her propetic dreams I suppose.
She tells me that I'm to pray to be the instrument of God and not to pray to be successful. It makes total sense to me. I was going to send it to her but I'll borrow it from her for some time.

She reminded me of the time (1973-74) when my dad was missing for over 2 month and we got a telegram from the Inn that she saw him in her dream that day.

Can I use what I have to make a difference?

Terri was saying that even the things she doesn't like about herself gets used to making a difference. I woke up with that memory this morning. Being on the driver's seat requires learning to drive and drive safely and confidently. I'll take this time off to do make that happen in literal and spritual terms.

I remembered the early days when I was so thrilled to be working and making the minimum wage. Now I seek more fulfillment and opportunity to make a difference.

Bermuda

Bermuda was absolutely gorgeous. Although I did not get to dip my toes in that unbelieavable Turquois water once, I was privilleged and honored to meet my teachers who work so hard to make transformation more readily available. I'm moved inspired and awaken to what it means to have this technology available.

No I did not get the job. It took about all of 15 minutes of feeling totally horrible - like warm snake going around in my body then all of a sudden, I got over it. I'm happy we found the perfect candidate.

I talked it over with my mom and my good friend. I am clear that the perfect opportunity will open itself up and I trust myself to recognize it.

I got something handled in terms of trust over the weekend. I'm so proud to be in the presence of the teacher who so affected my life like no other, surrounded by all so intelligent, big-hearted, hard working, well spoken colleagues creating a new paradigm of performance.

LODI

LODI stands for Long Overdue Item. I completed one of those today. I re-upholstered 6 dining room chairs. I've been meaning to do it since we moved to this place 5 years ago. I have bought the fabric, stapler and schotch guard. Today I finished re-upholstering and will do scotch guarding them some time later. But I have an amazing sense of accomplishment.

John went over with me the interview questions and kicked my butt. I now am re-interested in the job and I think I can have a good time at the interview tomorrow.

I found out that the name Grameen Canada has already been registered. I will have to find out if it has been incorporated. I will have to follow up with him when I come back from Burmuda.

Mom's outing

Mom is going out to see her friends from High School. She's dressed up in pink top and red shoes. I forgot that Mother's day is next week so I got her some flowers yesterday.

I heard from Alex -- we can only start speaking in June after his trip from Bangladesh and India. I am supposed to meet with Johanne today.

In the meantime, there were some upsetting news about some relatives in Korea that took some wind out but maybe this is what needs to take place to make a new start. I was concerned that uncle's paper would be screwed up but the lady at the lawyers office by-passed his delinquent behavior so the paper is safe. God must be so busy to take care of all these things so carefully.
Aunt must be exhausted.

One more step

I finished the "Knight in Rusty Armour". It was delightful and very apropos. Thanks to Sybille.
I sent off the 3 page document to Alex. I also got a phone call yesterday at 5:15 p.m. that Results wants to interview me for the National Coordinator position. I was getting all pissy that they weren't calling and now I wonder if they really want me or if it is just a polite, token gesture. I guess I'll find out next week. At least I guess this is saved my face somewhat.

It's all lined up next week. Monday, I'm having a follow-up conversation with Johanne -- just to update her on what's been going on. Then Tuesday I'm hoping I get an answer from Alex for a call with Alex and Cathy. Wednesday is the interview and Thursday I'm off to Burmuda for the meeting of brilliant minds, coming back on the 16th.

Cathy called and said how Alex C is now raising $1M per month thanks to this consultant who is now hired part-time by Results and the technology will be shared on the Leadership day at the Results International Conference. I'm all ears.

Auntie has connected the earphone so what I say to her will not be booming on her speakers. She was wispering because it was like 2 a.m. her time. She read the bit about "Can I will anthing to manifest" She said yes!

New red shoes

I'm ashamed to admit that yes, I bought another pair of red shoes. Not because I need them but they were just so cute and comfortable. Mom also bought a redder pair of swede shoes. I think I'll have a red shoes fashion show later but for now just the latest pair is on display. I found a 4 leaf clover yesterday. It seems that I just willed it to be there. Can I will other things to manifest?

Desire comes with the resources

I meant to earmark the book but I cannot find it. But it goes something like this. If you have a desire, it comes with the resources that is able to fulfill that desire presently. I read that in "The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent". The art of allowing.

This almost sounds like the aspiration thing that my aunt told me yesterday.

Another interesting dream I had -- on April 3rd. I asked for a sign to tell me if handing in the resignation letter was the right thing. And the answer came in a dream. A tall iron gates with vines and mosses and all kinds of leaves were growing on it ( as though they haven't opened in a very long time). And they were slowly opening. And as though the visual messages weren't clear enough I heard the audible message -- The gates are opening up.

So I took it as a sign and had absolutely no problem proceeding with handing in the resignation letter. It also coincides with the message from my aunt -- I need to do it right now because if I'm feeling the way I do - it means god is opening other doors for me.

I know all this sounds like hocus-pocus but these are definite unmistakable communications that I am not to ignore.

One of the guys I met in the MF conference in L.A., left his finance career to jump into career in Micro Credit. He sent me a note saying he'll be visiting Montreal and maybe we could get together and discuss each others adventures. I'm looking forward to his discovery. He says so far people are encouraging and helpful.

Aspiration

My aunt tells me that having a big aspiration is a yet physical reality. Something like what Landmark says. I don't know how she knows these things without taking all those courses. It is like being pregrent - if I have it, then it is bound to come true.

I worked on the proposal - more like project outline. I don't know how it is going to look at the end.

Some of the interesting dreams and visions since January.

Giving birth to a healthy heavy hot baby boy. That was the day I met with Johanne at the very beginning of the sprout conversation for possibility.

I see big Satellite dish spinning and collecting wads of cash stack after stack.

I had a very interesting talk with Denise. I admire her for starting her own business and she looks really good - was surprised to find her on the Dance floor at the Dancefolie on Saturday. She danced like a butterfly. Went for brunch on Sunday. The guy at the breakfast place was rude. Would not give me the table I wanted. We ended up going to Atwater market. It is so different from before - so many new constructions. I realize that no service is better than bad service.

Picture from the oldest Hot dog stand in California and more

Google Talk with Aunt

Finally, auntie and I can talk limitless via internet phone. I can hear her crystal clear as if she was right next to my ear. It was a fluke that her monitor died. Then the original donor of the computer came back with the brand-new computer and it is XP. So then it was within minutes that we could set up the internet phone - I sent her the internet head-phone/microphone earlier in March and did not think It would be useful until now. I can even send her DVD's as well.

Life is amazing. In some ways there are things that are being taken care of beyond what one asks for, within a short time these days. I am guessing that we really have to want strongly enough - as that book says -Ask and it is given.

I got to speak to Cathy. She sounded really positive about what happened with Prof. Yunus.

Next project is to write the 3 page proposal.

Sunnie.

Progress in MC

I was off to LA on Tuesday 18th -- had the conference on 19th and 20th. Took the friday 21st off then the PEX weekend #6 on 22nd and 23rd. It was a long trip to LA. I left home at 12:30 p.m. and arrived at the hotel at 10:30 (1:30 a.m. Eastern time) so took 13 hours total. I met a nice man and we had a good time talking about books, my volunteer work and how I just left work and how he'll be bicycling around in CA for a month.

Wednesday, I got to the conference late and missed most of Prof Yunus's talk. I was mad at myself for that and I had to get off it - talked to myself that all is going to turn out exactly as it should just like when I met Cedza - to accomplish what I came to accomplish. I saw Alex first -- right before the lunch break where he's supposed to talk. I meant to find out how he got the foundation started with 6,000 start up money and he actually offered -- if that is what you want to do he'll be willing to provide some support -- but I needed Prof. Yunus's blessing. Although I did not dare to ask for that amount of positive response, I decided to go all the way. So I went up to Prof. Yunus, and he remembered me from trips to WDC and his trip to Canada. I told him that Alex says I need his blessing to start something like that in Canada and he said "sure no problem". I was a bit stunned. I asked him if we were restricted to where we could disburse -- he said sure if we were to use the name Grameen. I did not ask for it but it seems that was the understanding. So, I'm even more stunned. Alex told me to send him a 3 page proposal and define what we would need. He'll also get me in touch with Spanish and Australian counterparts.
This is still unbelievable.
Friday, Susan, Jungnam and I went to the oldest hot dog stand in CA. Had a giant hot dog and black cherry drink. JN wasn't in good shape so she had to be brought back to the hotel. Susan and I finally went to the Getty Museum. What a modern day cathedral! The view was breathtaking and bought some souvenirs. Too bad my digital camera ran out of batteries.
Saturday -- went to Korean restaurent (2nd time that week).
Sunday -- Last day of the course and sad good byes. But I'm looking forward to Power and Contribution - I'm beginning to believe that a mouth and some language are what it takes to make a difference.

This is Tuesday and I went for blood test at the CLSC and went to lunch with Kim. I am now wondering if I should have her apply for Results position in Ottawa. I'm going to need a partner for the foundation project asap.

Happy Easter!

Friday - Sent off application for the Results job and went singing, we stayed only till 2:30 a.m. The owner of the place, obviously lacking sleep, told me that I made a good decision to leave work and don't start too soon. Take a year off, he told me.

Saturday - went dancing in Laval. I know that doesn't quite sound right but I had a good time. There were lots of good looking young guys and that cannot possibly put me in a bad mood.

Sunday - went for the easter mass at the Notre-Dame basillica. It was packed all around and the choir and the ceremony was very moving. I feel reborn. Then went to Salim and Ambreen's for snack and homework. Amber and friends were very interesting. I found out that "Dubai" is such an amazing place to live and work. They are actually considering living there. All possible luxury is there and only the brand name designer cloths were sold. There must be a great place to raise money. Salim says I should at least take the summer off.

Monday - got all preparation done for trip to L.A. So, I'm all set. I feel relaxed and my blood sugar level seems to level off. I remember my pshichic telling me that I'll have a disease free body. I feel relaxed, free and quiet.

Au Revoir and Hello

The farewell party was a complete success. I was reminded of the good old days. It was fun, moving, sad and exciting all at the same time. I was moved to tears by all the well wishes and tremendous positive energy.

Today is a very sunny and warmer - 9 degrees. John is working on the final touches for my CV. I can see my neibour taking out a hammoc on the balcony.

The responses to the survey questions for Vision excercise leading into the strategic planning was a real eye opener. It seems there are so much resources, heart and soul within our groups.

I'm so looking forward to allow and lead the new and innovative projects and programs.

Last day

Went for lunch with a kindred spirit. He was the first to receive me when I started 7 years ago. I figured out the Stock option thing so I am glad. I think I'm pretty complete. I look forward to the trip next week. I look forward to sending off my CV to Results and I look forward to waking up creating the day rather then just react to what's coming at me.

Everyone is so pleasant all of a sudden. I feel relaxed, blessed, calm and joyful.

Total silence

It's silent. I have no work to do so I compiled the responses from a survey for Results. The answers were totally amazing. I could see there are so many things we could do out of that excercise. I'm blessed to have this opportunity regroup and recharge myself. I had a sad day yesterday with some sweet messages from coworkers from near and far.

Dinner with Ileana was very chaotic. Chinese opera karaoke and people shouting as usual and we were engaged in a very interesting topic.

It is so amazing to be able to sit and talk with someone about whatever pops in to your head. Thank you god for making me alive at this time.

Am I dreaming?

I had a really good dream yesterday morning but I have to save it for 3 days to not jinx it. My aunt received the skirt/pillowcases/flanges I sent her. She says that "loud" thing about her skirt. Mom seems a bit confronted. I can understand that. She's worried I'll be all stressed out and take it out on her?

I'll have to finish my CV this weekend anyways. John -- my new angel is supporting me through this. I am surprised that he is so willing and thoughtful. Did something change in me? I suppose. Francois tells me that I'm like a sunshine these days.

I just need to trust myself as Christine says. And I do -- it's just sometimes I forget that I do.

Lord, I'm ready to receive your blessings in short order with lots of great opportunity coming to me with so many wonderful projects and financial opportunities. I know I'm meant to make a huge difference and I'm already doing so. I am for eradication of suffering and receiving unimaginable amount of joy and sharing them in bountiful way.

New life new phones?

I have 2 new phones. My desktop phone is now a Cisco model with "Color" monitor. However it'll be only mine for next 4 days. I have a new cell phone - mine only because I'll be letting go of the cell phone given to me by the company. I'm leaving work of last 7 years to investigate what it is that I really want to do for the next 20 years or so.

I have determined that what I'm doing now isn't what I want to do for next 20 years or next any time. I'm reminded of the Alchemist - who is in search of his fortune that was foretold by his dream.

I am in search of my fortune and happiness foretold by my dreams. I'm so incredibly lucky to have family and friends who are supporting this new endeavor so full heartedly.

I'm already happy that I'm taking one step after another going towards that, yet not knowing all the details.

I'm tuning into my being. I decline any opportunities that doesn't seem right to me. For example, this new cell phone -- I really did not like the salesman last time I walked in. So I walked out and this time, what an amazing service. He was professional, attractive, attentive and gave me all I wanted in a short time plus a very pleasant smile.

I'm looking forward to my sabbatical -- the opportunity create my life as an artist would create a piece of art. Hmm....Yummy.