More side benefits

My co-worker is urging me to come up with the list of books worth US$400. It seems they have been waiting for me to spend the money. I got some games with my own money then they said - get the list with amount then they'll buy from some budget. It's funny how "government" works in all those places. Tons of paper work is required but then they are willing to spend an almost ridiculous amount of money.

I threw out some unruly kids yesterday. I felt that it was better that they roam then climb up the windows and fall.

We shall see.

Results are clean

It's been kind of yucky to wait for the biopsy and ultrasound results from my visit earlier in the month. It took 10 days and even though the first visible signs were clean I just wanted to make extra sure. Thank GOD - they came back clean. I seem to have a new lease on life. I celebrated by bringing a large size pizza to aunt's.

Uncle's finally got his Korean citizenship back so that's another long awaited (13 years) endeavor that got finally completed.

I am grateful and look forward to more interesting future without hesitation.

Getting my hands dirty

I decided to do some random testing of the students. It turns out 40% of fifth graders don't know how to write lowercase alphabets. It shocked me to find out that some of these guys have been trained as parrots. It is unthinkable for me to think that they know the alphabet song but have no idea what they are for or don't know "i" from "k".

Some of the kids are so cute they look like they're right out of the Madelaine cartoon. Some first graders actually run towards me when the see me.

Breakthrough with the first graders

I have finally managed to keep the first graders concentrated and quiet. I had them color and cutoff foodstuff pictures - then I called them out to see if they can identify the name and the food. I could hardly believe myself. Thank God for Cindy who gave me the website and the tip to manage them. I am so lucky to have met her. It was so much more enjoyable.

There are some very bright kids and I am now more in the position to hear them cos not everyone is screaming their head off.

I also did some writing test for the 6th graders. I can see that many of them did quite well contrary to what I've been warned.

Completion

After the first full week at teaching, I went to visit grandma and auntie. Friday I went to Lotte mart on Seoul station (cos that's the only one I know where you can buy virtually anything). That place is an amalgamation of Zellers, Pharmaprix, dollar store, and a major supermarket. So I finally got a hat to prevent me from going prune-ish prematurely.

Saturday I put the mosquito net for their window. It is a virtual bee-hive, there since they are going absolutely nuts trying to build one before the monsoon season.

Today - Sunday, I had two visitors at aunt's. Aunt's old friend Juan who is a Catholic brother. He is getting older but got thinner than I remembered. Also the big uncle showed up unexpectedly. Without the presence of his fearful wife the atmosphere was much lighter and the lunch was quite enjoyable.

Brother Juan offered to help me get resources if needed. He tried to get an English school going and failed to get a permit from the district. So he seems to have lots of resources for ESL.

I noticed that I did not resent or blame anyone so far. So that alone must be a factor in having a light atmosphere.

After getting home, I felt home enough to unpack one of Lana's boxes. There was a nice big speaker that I hooked on to my laptop and am enjoying music - so much more than noise from TV.

Slowing down a bit

I am getting used to my routines. I no longer take it personally that kids are climbing up the walls and screaming. I do make corrections. I am growing my territories.
I had a chance to meet other Native(?) English teachers from this city. There are 7 of us and we had a meeting yesterday to set up the 2 week summer camp activity.

I put a question mark because the 6 of us who showed up were Korean natives who finished their studies in the English speaking countries from various backgrounds - Music, arts etc.

I like myself - in the way that my obsession is more about how to make the kids understand and learn more.

I must admit, I miss the night life in Montreal. Can't wait for more social life to start.

Settling and unsettling

Kids are getting restless. I would be too. It's hot and humid and cooped up in the classroom is not the place to be calm and collected. I went to the Native teachers meeting at the Provincial office. We were all of Korean ancestry and spoke in Korean.

Got some tips on how to keep the kids busy. I'm going to check their sites. It may be fun to do the summer camp setup with them. I volunteered to teach dancing and yoga.

Finally connected!

I have the Internet connection as of yesterday afternoon. They are so competitive, I'm getting $100 just for signing up. Got my cell phone hooked as well (they call it hand-phone here).

I got some books at the "What the book" book store at Itaewon. There are more foreigners there than Koreans so I felt "at home".

So far, I am a bit panicky about keeping the young ones' attention but overall, I cannot complain. My coworkers seem to be gentle loving kinds of people and the school is quaint and small (only one home-room per grade).

Kids are all over the place. Some practically fluent and some don't know the alphabets. And a few are "special"kids. Developmentally challenged or deaf.

So far first graders give me the headaches but they're also the cutest.

Some pictures:

Grandma falling asleep while reading the newspaper.

Auntie making cold-noodle soup.

View from my window.

My new appartment.

Day 3 on the job

I had a dream on the evening of the 5th that I was floating over a bridge that looked fantastic. It was over a calm blue water and had the color of light gold on platinum. Grandma says it is a good dream and I believe it also.

On the evening of the memorial day, I was invited to go for dinner with the other English teacher's family. The husband was really paying too much attention so I felt a bit uncomfortable.

On my day 3, I feel less terrified. However, Day 1 with the 1st graders were the toughest day of my life. They were litterally climbing up the walls and opening everything and tripping over all the things.

Day 2 was less threatening and I was somewhat prepared. It looks like I get to create games - completely up to me.

I look forward to mastering the art of teaching English.

Busy busy

I will start working on Tuesday the 5th. In the meantime, on the 31st, I went to get Uncle's documents to be notarized, went to school to meet with the assistant teacher and get a tour, took a look at the appartment - the view is great but it is kinda country. I met with lana who had some huge suitcases. She and I stayed at an Inn in Insadong. The evening was delightful with great company and great places - tea house with an amazing garden and a restaurant with a nice garden as well.

On the 1st, Lana left for Montreal and I met with Uncle to complete his renunciation of Canadian citizenship procedure. Finally all papers were complete and they gave him a certificate saying they have received the payment and the application. It gave me a sense of an accomplishment and took the rest of the day off.

I found out this morning that Lana arrived from Mom. I went shopping for some bedding and started to get overwhelmed by what's ahead. Moving for one and starting a job with no prospect of training period.

But Aunt says all will work well and I trust her and myself.

Getting over the jet-lag

I am having easier time than ever adjusting to the Korean Time zone. Now I feel a bit sleepy around 6 p.m. I've been told that jet-lag gets adjusted about 1 hour per day. So since I've been here about a week, I've adjusted to the 6 hour difference.

Uncle no.2 is such a different person when he's not drinking. I can almost say he seems confident and relaxed. He doesn't seem bitter, angry and restless. There's a vague resemblance to the favorite uncle I used to know.

Sunday, uncle no. 1's wife and the son came to visit. We had to watch out to see that she doesn't throw out things. She has a tendency to do that without permission of the owners. It is because she thinks she owns them. Much talkative grand mother was silent the whole time. I felt sorry for grandma. Well in fact, I felt sorry for both of them. Both forever regurgitating the past, chewing over same blame game over and over again. I wonder if they're not tired of that stupid game themselves.

The cousin was also very quiet. He's too young and strong for me to feel sorry for him. He doesn't say what he does but says he's very busy. Mystery lives onto the 2nd generation from uncle no. 1.

Lana's three boxes arrived late last evening. I haven't opened it yet.

I need to go see a gynecologist. What a bummer. The doctor I saw prior to leaving has just received some test results that she doesn't like.

Getting acquainted with the public transportation

I'm very jet-lagged. And am getting re-acquainted with the public transit system. I have to say it is very well run considering this is a city of 12 million people. Went for a visit to my medicine woman. Who has been through a very hard time lately with her husband losing his mind after a stroke. I am dealing with broken agreements and upsets of many people and am surprised at my ease with lots of people. I haven't yet been upset.

My uncle #2 is openly resentful and purposedly getting drunk every night. Grandma is continuously talking about the old days and how she suffered. But I noticed that she stops speaking when her ferocious daughter-in-law is present. I feel compassion for all but I will at a drop of a hat, take aunt out of this.

In Korea

All went smoothly at the Incheon airport. The customs officer did not say a peep. The luggage arrived as soon as I got there. The driver from the job agency was right there and took me all the way to aunt's. My uncle 2 was very drunk and could not help with a single luggage but a neighbour lady came and helped me with the last big piece of luggage. She is familiar from my last trip. She was asking what do we need men for and I told her I ask the same question.

Yesterday was Buddha's birthday so it was a national holiday. I had a leisurely day off since I could not go to the ministry of justice to start my residency application. I slept for five hours then took 2 Tylenol and slept all night till almost 6 a.m. I hope this puts an end to my jet-lag.

Took some pictures of the bathroom and kitchen - believe me, this is a total miracle.

San Francisco

The conference was a huge success. I always wondered about how some of us looked really amateurish and still can be public about the promises and intentions. It was all designed that way. The fearless leader says, since nobody really knows how to transform the world in such a way that it will be the one that works for everyone with no one and nothing left out, we need to take a chance, it may be the airhead, or the fool or the logical one but who knows really the one that will provide the tipping point?

So I am peaceful in my decisions and possible mistakes. Another set of good byes with lots of hugs and encouragements was really good medicine.

Totally cool.

Thursday: Jung Nam and I went into town and had the most delicious meal.
Friday: Met with the lady responsible for making the Forum happen in Korea. Made the poster in 5 minutes. The most wonderful play about a Norwegian mother and daughter was a true gem.
Saturday: Delivered the poster presentation and went for a 5 minute visit to Half-Moon bay beach with Jorge, Mark and Gabe.
Sunday: Presentations were fabulous. I wish I could be in all of them.

Going away party and Mother's day

So far, I'm able to handle goodbyes without losing too much salt water. My going away party was a great success with people dropping in at all times. I feel so lucky to have such loving friends. Karaoke was a great fun and I think I have 2 more people hooked on it.

Cards with touching messages and small gifts (out of the consideration for my luggage weight) kept arriving too.

I keep focusing on what needs to be done today and it seems to be working. If I think about all the years before and since coming to Canada and think about what's in store for me in the next few weeks, I could go completely crazy. So I decided to do it in bite size only.

Mother's day was quiet. Mom told me that it's mother's day everyday. Went out to dinner with some close friends. It was at this lovely and quiet place that we all like.

I'll miss many people, things and places. Sniff.

Christmas in May

I had the most wonderful afternoon going through make up bin and selecting most delectable smell, shades and shapes of fabulous products for myself and mom.

I think I don't need to go shopping for cosmetics for 5 years. I am so not the same person I was last year. My community is showing up for me as a total support and love.

My coach acknowledged me in that how my being the straight force to deal with in the soft Doe voices that compells people to be great around me. I'm so spoiled and overjoyed.

More dream

I had an awful dream. I moved into a new place. It was very shoddy. I could see gaps between the bricks and can see through and wondered how it must be in the winter time.

Also mom was cursing because there were long (about 3/4 of an inch) white warms all over the floor and she was saying that they moved from the previous place and cannot tell where they originate from. She scooped them and put them away in the manhole outside. I was wondering out loud if they will find their way back through the pipes up to the sink. What an annoying dream!

Dream

I dreamt this morning of an adventure. I was in company of two other women and we were going for tour. We slightly missed the boat so we had to be on a sled and launched into the air and then land on the big boat that we missed. The boat arrived on a shore and we were at this amazing restaurant. The menu was kind of a mixture - Ribs and Chocolate cake for dessert. But what an amazing floor to ceiling stained glass structure!

I was admiring the stained glass and not quite finishing the rich lunch and dessert. I was glad that I took the risk of launching on to a boat. Unusual, but hey that's life.

More on visa

I just learned that there's a way to work without visa legally in Korea. I learned it from the lady from the agency that I'm dealing with and I confirmed with a lady at the Ministry of Justice in Korea. I am completely amazed. I don't need to do anything but show up with some paper work and about $70 and in 10 days I'm able to work. The ticket is taken care of by the agency so my last trip to SF will be takend care of. So I will go to San Francisco on the 17th and continue on to Korea from there. Miraculous!

Mom's recent dream about her Dad also seems to indicate that this is the right thing to do. More confirmation is always reassuring.

Yesterday I spent a day with 4 ladies from a previous seminar at a country house. It was fun to hang out share the ups and downs. One of the lady calls me that I'm like a WD-40 for relationships. I seem to smooth out the edges between people she says. Food was delightful and the walk nice when the sun peep through in the afternoon.

As my agreement to be a coach comes to end, there was a conference call to acknowledge the coaches. I was so happy to find that my coachees all completed the courses and most of them completed the coursework. I never thought some of them would make it. Miraculous!

Pictures: 1) Me and Gretchen 2) Eva, Gretchen, Ginette and Janice 3) Gretchen, Eva and Ginette pointing at the bread that looks like buns.

Becoming emotional

As the time for the departure approaches, both Mom and I started to reminisce about the good old and not so good old days. In some ways, I feel as though I'm going back to revisit some dark memory lanes of night-mares. However, I tend to forget that I'm not the same person and Korea is not the same country from that memory. I know that I may not have enough courage to do something like this if I settled into a comfortable place. So I can understand the adamant refusal on my part to look for something here.

My friend's accident reminds me also how important for Mom it is to live in a safer environment among more enjoyable companies for her older days.

I will send off all documents tomorrow. I'm signing the deal and not turning back.

LODI (Long Over Due Item) - Done!

Just filed my income tax and mom's. I feel so light. Each year I dread it so much. This time it took me 2 hours - that is including losing all my data and re-keying it all over again.

I had another interview with Canadian Language Institute. They are more interesting of course, I'll be working with fellow diverse individuals from Canada. But now that I have something in the works already, I did not feel extremely needy and that made me feel good too.

Today there was an incident where 32 (or more) kids were shot to death in Virginia Technology University. It is unthinkable why shooting would happen in schools so often.

Paperwork 2

I have been working to get the documents - 12 of them. I was super annoyed that I needed to go to the consulate 3 times to get my degree notarized and confirmed. In their web site, it just says get the degree notarized at the consulate. It doesn't say that I need to copy, get it notarized and bring a transcript to get it confirmed there. I got off it. I'm not working and I have time to do it so why get angry and annoyed?

I called my half sister for the first time since my Dad passed in August 1999. I needed the "Original Address" and I did not remember it and my mom did not either. I knew that she would know it. Mom fished out a phone number from a very old address book. I called and there was no answer and the answering machine did not come on. 3 hours later, I get a call and it was her voice. It turned out during the past 8 years, her mother passed away and so has 2nd sister's husband and 2nd brothers wife also passed away. I got the original address and got something more, a possibility to be able to connect to her. Mom was also considering visiting her in Vancouver. My life is almost coming to a full circle.

Paperwork

I got an offer in a record time. This reminds of me of the time I got hired at Cognicase. I went in shook hands, handed over my CV, had a chat for 10 minutes and signed the contract all in one sitting. Then again this was true as for my last job. I called on Monday, went in for the interview on Wednesday handed over my CV and started working the Monday after.

This time, I sent out my CV on Good Friday evening to an agency, I got a call at 10 p.m. from the agency on Easter Sunday evening and got a contract by Tuesday a.m. The employer did not even bother to interview me but my co-teacher was eager to call me and let me know of all the wonderful things awaiting me. She was very reassuring and seemed relieved that I understand Korean.

Tips for those who are renewing their passport - go to Service Canada website and fill out the application on-line as much as possible. This short-cuts 2 hours waiting at the passport office. Mom and I lined up downstairs yes, but as we got to the reception desk and got grudgingly ready to wait for the next 2 hours sitting, she said "You're next! because you filled out your applications on-line". Hooray - Viva Internet!

Another tip, if you ever need a security clearance, you need to go to International Fingerprinting Services Canada (at Complexe Guy-Favreau) and pay 40 dollars. Prince Edward Island Police (why them?- I don't know) will do the investigation and send you a certificate.

Wirlwind of thoughts

As I am getting some more nibbles, I'm feeling a bit more confident. I got all the papers ready to renew passports but I forgot to ask mom to sign. This will cause one more day of delay. I may have to just apply for mother's only and renew when I get to Korea.

There are some public school positions - that sounds nice. Also this Canadian school - nicer except for the fact that I'll have to work till late in the evening.

My aunt says I have nothing to worry about - that God will provide the best for me.
I learnt that lesson when I walked across northern Spain but I keep forgetting.

My note from the universe told me to "buy the shoes" - which I did yesterday. I had to laugh out loud.

http://www.tut.com/mmm.shtml

31st Anniversary

Today is the 31st anniversary of my family arriving in Canada. Mom and I celebrated in China town and I bought - yes, a new pair of sandals to commemorate. It feels just like yesterday that we arrived at the Dorval airport. Interestingly, today we are making passport pictures to get ready for the trip back home.

I had a nibble - an agency from Korea called me last night and I am interested in the position she was suggesting. As I am waiting for the confirmation call, my monkey mind is running 100 miles an hour. There are all these financial matters I need to settle before I go. Plus making sure mom is OK, plus getting ready for taking care of aunt's affairs are totally taking up my brain space. One good news is that I can get the type of Visa in Korea that will allow me to work and live there for 2 years at a time just like a native. Which means that my visa status is not linked to an employer. I wanted to find out right away but all government offices were closed today because it is the Easter Monday.

The trip to San Franciso was a memorable one as well. I ran into another participant from New York at the SF airport and we went into town for some fabulous seafood and window shopping. The weather was unbelievably beautiful and the view of the harbor made us feel like we were in a movie. Tarantino's is the name of the fabulous seafood restaurant.

During the course, one other Korean lady publicly gave up making Japan/Japanese wrong. Her wailing woke me up to what we're up to creating in the world. Yes - some of us are immature, unreliable, and the job in front of us is immense. But I don't know of any other bunch of human beings engaged in creating and committing to the impossible promise for all humankind. I'm humbled, privileged and overwhelmed.

Listening to Bill Clinton on Tedtalks, made me want to find out about this man Dr. Paul Farmer, who could cure the world. I am after all, a student and a teacher who has learnt to communicate not just problems but solutions.

March to remember

March started out fine - with mom's birthday celebration. On March 10th however, as I was taking the first day of TESL course and looking forward to my birthday celebration, I got a message that my dear friend fell and broke her hip - but she has my cake and should come and get it. Frantically I found the hospital where she ended up and cancelled my party. I found her screaming every 3 minutes with excruciating pain. It was just terrible. By the 11th, I got the news that her surgery went well and found her sitting up.

On the 20th of March, as I wasn't dealing with enough stuff in my head, my mom was having some suspicious symptoms - she felt tightness of chest and her left arm was feeling numb. So off to the emergency. She came back home the next morning with some pills. It was some minor heart condition and she just needs some pills, but nothing to worry about. I felt completely wiped and exhausted.

Thank Goodness March is over! My friend is back at home - and mom is stronger than ever.

Some pictures - flowers, cake and eggs - that survived Susan's fall.

Presenting Climate Change to 160 7th graders

With excitement Pamela and I had the opportunity to present Results action to 160 7th graders this morning. It was chaotic, wonderful and learned a lot.

They were unruly and took a lot to get them engaged in the conversation. They did squirm quite a bit in the chairs for the presentation that lasted an hour and half. We ended up with many letters - I wonder how many can be sent.

Breakfast meeting

I was reunited with Gretchen, Eva and Ginette. It was fantastic to be with those ladies one more time. Eva got teary almost every 5 minutes. She's going through tough time because of Interferon treatment for her Hepatitis C.

Robin's recital was not bad. Here's a picture of triplet of hedgehogs - size of chestnuts.

Sequal to the amazing story - from May 2006

I found out that this Rosary I got from Bermuda was returned to its rightful owner - my aunt. My grand-mother took it from her when I sent it and she said she'll take it to her grave.

It turns out that my aunt dreamt of this rosary 12-13 years ago. It had my 2 big uncles with big smiles with a big envelop of important papers. She also saw her bath tub full of water - over flowing with water from the faucet.

Miraculously, the water happened in 2005 and the big envelop is in the midst of happening.

She also told me about another dream where the Pope Jean-Paul 2 gave her the communion when she did not have a TV to watch the mass she so wanted to see. I'm so privilleged to be part of her amazing stories.

Productive day

I had one of the most productive days in weeks. I went to the post office to send off a small parcel, went to the bank to pay the city tax, got the water filter, got my bag fixed up, went to the exercise class. I even bought some tops, in the anticipation of the very hot and muggy summer in Korea.

The new shipment arrived for the Isagenix. I am excited to try it out for the next 30 days. I heard that my big uncle pulled one of his con jobs again. I felt so furious. I also heard that his wife gave my aunt the "permission" to attend her mother's funeral - who she's been taking care of the last 25 years. That crazy woman had the gall to command my aunt to ask for an electric wheel chair from a city government so that she can attend the funeral in it. Of course all this was going on in front of my grandmother who is alive. She'd be so flabbergasted if she heard what she was saying - it is a good thing that my grandma's hearing is so bad sometimes. Auntie shall be independent and free from those monsters once and for all. It is the time to clean up her environment.

The year of the Golden Pig

Tomorrow marks the beginning of the year of the golden pig. It's supposed to provide everyone their share of prosperity beyond expectation. I expect ease, abundance of love, joy and prosperity. I had the easiest time losing 7 pounds and have more energy than ever before. In my coaching experience for the Partnership course, people sent acknowledgement and love beyond expectations. I'm so fortunate because of my community and the kind of conversations that are available to me.

The 4 women from all corners of the continent are in communication are looking at producing the list of 20 things we expect from the universe as we expect water to come out of our faucet when we turn the knob. The Secret is now so public - hitting the Oprah twice in 2 weeks. It is awesome.

Glorious

This is the title of the comedy I went to see with my friend yesterday evening. It was hilarious. This is the true story of a woman determined to sing but could not sing a note. Her life truly reflects the power of the Law of Attraction. She wanted to sing so badly she attracted money from the universe to be able to do it. She recorded and performed and gave much needed laughter to all. Florence Foster Jenkins is a hero in my book.

http://www.counterpoint-music.com/specialties/ffj.html

Day 4 - lost 5 pounds and 7 inches

I don't know how one can lose 5 Lbs and 7 inches but that is what happened. I am amazed that I'm not hungry, tired, cranky, nervous, weak nor anxious.

I went to the presentation on how BRAC's program in reaching the ultra poor is working out. It was interesting how that the last 10-15% of the poorest stay poor has to do with psychological limits. How they don't see how their future can be better.

I feel sad for them and glad that there are people who devised plans and designing what it'll take to get them out of absolute poverty. They are moving into Africa - Tanzania and Uganda. It is basically all doing what Results advocated for many years. Health services, guidance, training, support and follow up. It seems so simple. It was to be tried on 5000 people but it expanded to 100,000 people. From 2 districts to 16 districts. www.bracresearch.org is where 15 plus papers can be found.

New recipe

Mom and I both lost 3 pounds each. I feel lighter already and glad I started on the program. Mom also feels good and doesn't seem weak or discouraged. I can't wait till I measure on Day 3.

I got this new recipe from the Mexican place and wanted to try out. It was Chipotle and Sour cream with Chicken. I marinaded boneless and skinless chicken in sesame oil, olive oil, garlic, soy sauce and tiny bit of mirin (Japanese rice vinegar). After about 1/2 hour, I sauteed in Canolo oil and when they look cooked, I poured the blended sour cream (250 ml) and Chipotle (3 pieces). It was simply delicious. My friend had a very healthy second helping.

I also made sauteed broccoli with garlic in Canola oil and soy sauce, making sure they stayed crunchy.

My friend did the dishes. It was a good meal and great company.

Plan A

I'm sticking to Plan A -- Going to Korea in June. In the meantime, I noticed that I gained 4 pounds since November and Mom is turning in to an apple shape. So I started looking for some ways to affect it.

So today is Isagenix day 1. I was skeptical cos I remembered that I could not stand swallowing the shakes made by the Herbalife. I was happy to find out that I liked the shakes Isagenix had.

I am hoping for fabulous results for me and mom.

Plan B and Plan A

I had a wonderful new year's eve - delayed Christmas dinner plus the all night karaoke evening. My new friend showed up there a couple of minutes before midnight and was the first to wish me the Happy New Year. He's awful charming and can't seem to get enough of him.

I registered for the Teaching English as a Second Language course in March. So far this was a Plan A but not it is looking more like Plan B. New Plan A is that my former boss may find me something where she's moving onto.

My conversation with my coaches are pointing me to the "Butterfly" effect. That a butterfly flutters its wings and causes a typhoon half-way around the world. And they urge me to take the responsibility.

My former colleague who I had lunch with is asking me how I am always so happy. This is when I realized that "wow the Wisdom course really is working".

Yoga camp and Meditating

As a last minute plan, Eva, Fred, Gretchen and I went to the Sivananda Yoga camp for a Yoga class and dinner. It was simply delightful.
http://www.sivananda.org/camp/english/intro_en.html

I've been meaning to go for a long time and this was my first time. I feel sore from the 2 hour class. Both the class and the dinner were basic and wonderful.

There was a ceremony to write down the things we want to release and things we want to have manifested and burnt the papers. It was at the home of the lady who leads our meditation group.

I felt a bit depressed and stressed in the last days. But I feel so much better after the yoga class.

My friend her daughter and her grand-son came for lunch and had a hectic but delightful time.

Addicted to tedtalks

After doing all that shopping and planning, Christmas dinner turned out to be real simple. My friend who was supposed to concoct the dinner together got sick so I dropped off some pepto-bismol and odd things. My mom did not feel good so she ended up having rice porridge and soya sauce for dinner. A new friend accompanied me to the Christmas mass at the Notre-Dame basillica. He was fidgeting and I could understand why. The priest had a thick accent and spoke fast and mumbled French. Plus the accoustic in the church was such that there was an echo effect. In other words, it was really hard to understand what he was saying. No wonder of the family of 12 behind us, there were 3 - mother and her 2 kids on either side of her laps - were snoring all the way. The grandma's giant hips were hitting my new friends head every time she moved. It was rather entertaining. We had a real simple dinner and a great conversation.

I have a new addiction - Tedtalks. I watched the one on 100$ computer, Nicholas Negroponte, and I'm grateful to all other presenters, Al Gore, Malcolm Gladwell and especially Gregory Colbert of Ashes and Snow.

I cannot wait to watch all of them. Each one is inspiring and compelling in so many different ways. I feel enormously blessed to be living in this time period.

http://www.ted.com/tedtalks

Fundraiser and the official announcement

The fundraiser was a success. We had room full of people. The presentations and piano performances were outstanding and food was warm, original and joyful. It took a lot of work but this time, it did not feel like work.

About the announcement - I am going to Korea to work for a good while - the expected date is June 2007. It was Janet - a lady who came all the way from Daegu, Korea to let me know about this opportunity. Since I already have attempted to go back in 1992 and failed, I thought that it was not for me.

Since I have decided, I feel hopeful, excited and joyous. Mom, Grandma and Aunt are all very excited about it too. I'll need to get rid of lots of things and ship some things. All seems right and unreal at the same time.

Fundraiser

Results fundraiser is coming along. As before I wonder if I could have done more, been some other way to make a resounding success. Maybe this is what it looks like when your prayers are heard. It is a resounding success in Calgary and Ottawa. Even in Micro Credit, now it is the playground for Gates, Buffett and Omydiar. I made a slide show of 20 years history of Results Canada/Montreal. It really went by fast.

New Me

8 months after my birthday - I finally went for the color/haircut using the gift certificate from birthday present. I was a bit apprehensive at first but I came out feeling like a million bucks.

Here's the new look - thanks to my dear friend who came with me to consult the color and hair person with what look we're shooting for.

Back at home with some homework to do

I've been back and heard this amazing news that my dead beat uncle in Korea may be getting a pension. Auntie declared that would be her independence from him. She'll definitely leave her dead beat brother and move out with or without grandma depending on uncle number1's reaction. If he withdraws support by reclaiming his pension then granma can go with him - as is customary in Korea for eldest son to take care of parents in their old age. If he takes the money and refuses to take care of granma then she'll move with granma and live on her support from government and request some help from the 3 uncles. This was something I wanted but was impossible to even want but now it is miraculously happening.

I'm so incredibly impressed by her. In fact, she impresses me more than anyone alive on the planet today.

I had the most spectacular day off in Herring Cove. My dear friend invited me to stay with her and I happily accepted. Her place has the most amazing view of ocean in action. Life is most interesting since I have been on this sabbatical. Or I never took time to examine how miraculous life can be.

Some pictures - Prez Clinton at the Montreal Millenium Conference 2006. Prof. Yunus at MC Summit and views from Herring Cove.

Wow - what a month it's been so far

The Millennium conference was a complete success and there were 5 people extra showed up just because I mentioned it. I am so privileged to live in this time and age.

The weekend in SF was so eye-opening as well. This was the biggest group of successful people that I can think of. Yet, they don't seem to know half of what I know in terms of the state of the world and what can be done.

Micro-credit Summit - there were so many new success stories plus Prof. Yunus with the Nobel Prize Winning stature, it was almost overwhelming. I'm so proud to be in the company of those naive people - who just did not know enough that it was impossible. So it makes sense that Power and Contribution course is designed around the impossible promise.

I can't wait to start the work book, read the new book about MC - pathways out of poverty, to get to the bottom of tax issues about MC on next week.

Presentations

I gave one presentation in a university and 2 others to high school students/teachers in the last 4 days. I was cut off in the middle on the one at the university and that I had a hard time getting over it. It was rude but I did get an apology. The high school ones were delightful. I met many young visionaries with fresh, innovative projects to mobilize the public. I was disappointed in the end because, they all wanted to do exactly the same things - paper recycle, compost but nothing outside of the school environment.

But I met a couple of very bright young kids and I was inspired at the idea of becoming a teacher.

I realize that I have no fear being in the front of a group - and someone told me that is half the battle.

Never done before

I went to Aquadome and there must have been a thousand little screaming kids there. I went to Village des Valeurs. I could not pick anything but found a warm long skirt for my aunt. So I can say I did 2 things I've never done before.

Last 2 days, I hung out with my friend Eva. I also heard that there were some lay-offs at where I used to work. It was sad but I wasn't surprised. I still think I made the right decision to bust out and live my life to the fullest rather than waiting for an axe to fall. My mother agrees. My aunt appreciates me for not losing my ability to laugh till it hurts.

Busy couple of weeks are coming up and I'm excited -excited about workshops I'll be giving, conferences I'll be attending and visiting my friend in Halifax.

Busy day

Demand for me is coming from all directions. I met with 2 other accomplished strong willed women for brunch. They are masters in their domain and as we agree and disagree I can see that gods in us are very much alive and expressive.

Then I had a call with the McGill people about the workshop this Saturday. It came together rather interestingly.

Then a friend called to see if I was willing to show her some yoga movements. Then another friend called to see if I can be with her to go to the small claims court for her dispute with her dentist.

Then I had a fundraiser planning call.

Ballet class was great - after all this, but I must be careful with my weak knee.

This dark Halloween night is turning out to be not as sleepy as other nights.

Choosing

I had one of the most powerful excercises done in my seminar and it is all about choosing. I had that happen when I did the Forum - and chose my Dad exactly as he is and exactly as he was not and our relationship completely shifted then. It was truly miraculous when that happened. In my seminar, we were to write down all that we haven't chosen in our lives and choose all each day. I don't know if that is why but this time, we are putting together the Fundraiser at the last minute and so far - no struggle and effort. No making wrong. My unreasonable request to be in daily communication with the 2 other people got accepted without a peep.

So I'm excited without being nervouse and crazy. It may be also that I let that go.

I'm in demand, from within and from outside - will be doing a workshop at McGill, Learning for sustainable future. Then I'm in the Montreal Millenium Conference. Then off the Power and Contribution in SF then off to Halifax from there. Then I'm attending a conference for tax consultant for NGO for transferring money outside of Canada.

New possibility

I had an interview this morning. It was interesting and the people I met seemed earnest and serious. I can see that there's definite mood shift in me. I don't have so much angst and nervousness.

I love the seminar I'm in - Living passionately and bringing the love of the game to everything we do. It just gives me calmness and possibility without any change in circumstances.

It would be great to work and be passionate about my work again.

Dreams

I had a dream that I took a thorn (unusual shape and size) out of my body. It was thick and had a color and texture of a red brick but shaped like a branch with some motif on it. It was painful to take it out but felt really good once it was out.

I also had a dream that I moved into a new house. Brand-new freshly painted and was very bright.

This is something - not really a dream but I saw and felt it while meditating in my yoga class. I have been given this huge peach, it was so big that I could not put my arms around it.

I also had a dream that I started to work for OZ.

Now - in a live state, my new unlikely friend turns out to have so much in common with me. Grandma whose husband is in Sudan being an agricultural consultant. She is actually the first person to let me know that Prof. Yunus was awared the Nobel Peace Prize. I'll have to laminate the picture I took with him.

Talking with 5 women

I had a dinner/meeting with 5 women. 3 I know well and 2 I know very little. It turned out to be most interesting and it is incredible how people with like mind find each other. I'm a believer in the law of attraction.

I heard the good news that Prof. Mohammad Yunus won the Nobel Peace Prize. When my grandma heard the news she thought it wasn't fair that he got something and I did not get anything - another falling down from my chair laughing moment.

I went to lunch and yoga class with my old and dearest friend. We never seem to have enough time to say everything - thank god for Skype so that we can catch up whenever.

I'm including some pictures from the Sushi Restaurent aquarium - Nemo and Dory.

Harvest Moon

I must have gotton off it. I got the cheque in the mail - one I thought I'd have to wait till november. So Mom and I went out to celebrate. Back in Korea, the whole family got together to celebrate the Choo Suk - Korean equivalent of Thanksgiving - they happened to coincide this year. I have so much to be thankful for. From the movie Secret, I started listing the names of the people I feel grateful for having in my life and so far I'm at 94.
I took 2 pictures of the Harvest moon - it looked sublime.

Venise-en-Quebec

Mom wanted to get away to see the fall trees - and she's not keen on walking a lot. On Thursday a friend of mine informed me that she's renting a cottage by a lake and she was willing to bring us back an forth. I always wanted to have a cottage by water and wanted to know what it would be like to live in one so I got mom to agree and invited a couple of friends - the one who came ended up being charge of all 7 meals. The lake was fabulous. I got to see the sunny day and a rainy, windy day and water looked very different. We ended up playing 2 rounds of Scrabbles (Mom did quite well), 2 rounds of French version of Life (Getting married, having kids, buying house, losing money and facing other life obstacles etc.). And watched 3 movies. Food was also a major source of preoccupation.

Kindered Spirits

I met with 2 people who are just as passionate about creating new world of health, education and equity. (I learned from watching " The Secret" the movie - that it is better to be for something than against something). The movie was so great - I never knew that the technology existed to pay and watch a movie on line.

Manon will go to Tanzania to work with the orphans there. Jacques will bring solar oven to dry fruits so that they can start their own small business. I'm getting clearer - I want to be part of the task force to enroll 2.2 M people to give 1$/day till the Micro Finance becomes available to all. I was resigned about finding billionaires. However I recently heard of 2 people who personally know a billionair and some one who knows of one.

I was so happy to meet people who are re-arranging their life/lifestyle to make a maximum difference and take their dreams off the shelf and running with them.

Long overdue evening out dancing

I found out there's something I'm good at. Twist. I was out with 4 fabulous gals at a Freddie James - Singer/dancer/comedian extraordinaire concert. Of all the Barbie and Paris look-alike gals, who does Freddie pick to do a Twist demo on the stage? Me! It was surprising but I thought heck I enjoy dancing and who cares who's watching. As I was dancing, Freddie's eyes were getting bigger and bigger. And later at the ladies, gals lining up all gave me smiles and taps on my shoulder saying my twist was "really good". Too bad no camera or video camera was rolling. Eliz was saying "You should have seen yourself".

So I became instant celebrity for about 5 minutes. It was fun. Maybe I can add that on my CV.
This washed away some of the stress and pissy mood I was in. So today is a new day with no mistakes in it - famous line from Anne of Green Gables.

Back to sabbatical

It was intense 1 week but is over. John was right. It seems they won't budge until I do a blow out. It was an interesting experience anyways. Including fetching copper wire for an antenna and looking for elastic bands to keep the device together - real high tech stuff.

There's a new addition for my green pottery collection - I got them from SF. Once I got them in SF but gave away as a gift and I thought I should have gotton more. The persimmon things. So I was happy to track down in SF this time.

Power and Contribution and new job

Power and contribution was in some ways brutal but most humbling and effective. The level of honesty was unbelievable and only so that we can start a strong and clean foundation of integrity. I've been depressed about this course. This course is about making the difference in the world, creating the impossible promise and fulfilling them. Obviously I'm not the right person. As it turns out - all the people in the course were going through some degree of this despair. Some were too indifferent to even notice the dispair. But at some point this promise will take over our lives and become the context for all we do. I got a massive headache - must have been a giant identity attack.

SF was beautiful - especially the hotel. I also had an honor of attending an unexpected birthday party of a friend and 50 of his close family members - it was overwhelming but I could see they all so loved each other.

Busy Events - Happy ones

Yesterday, after 5 months the collection for the soccer uniform was completed. This was only done in Pierrefonds but maybe next year if there's more demand and if shipping cost can be donated, we could do Montreal-wide collection.

Today, I was at a press conference for the Millenium Promises by the City of Montreal. Yes I was very skeptical but I was really surprised by the leadership plus all the celeb muscles who showed up there. I also got to see the friend with the looooong poney tail - who went Hey it's da sunnie - on top of her lungs in the company of Belinda Stronach, Mayor Tremblay, Nathalie Simard, Patrick Huard and oodles of journalists swarming all over the place.

They are putting on a big conference on Nov 9th with Prez Clinton, Jeff Sachs, Craig Keilburger and several people to let the ordinary people know of the progress of MDG's and to launch Bednet project and inviting Corporations and NGOS as well as ordinary citizens (3000 people).

I got to shake hands with the Organizer, Daniel Germain - Founder of "Club des petits dejeuners du Quebec", the back bone and the shaker of the bold project.

Mayor was speaking about projects to join twin cities in all aspects of development, with the World Bank.

Anyways, I was really interested to see the new momentum of the MDG's power that infiltrated the Quebec's Psyche.

Why aren't they calling me?????

Well I have been waiting for the people to call me about the job where I had 4 interviews (1 phone 3 face-to-face). Apparently it is normal to do 5-6 interviews these days. As one of my old co-worker used to say "what a gal to do?"

In the meantime, I am continuing my yoga classes and found I lost another pound this morning. Plus, I'm learning the history of Korea. The culture, and discipline that was there before Buddism arrived. It is fascinating. I know so little but the education system also suppressed that part of history in general in Korea.

I like feeling the energy between my hands - this means my mind is calm enough to focus on the present rather than regretting the past and worrying about the future.

The long lost friend was telling me how she got to the top of the corporate ladder and then she also decided to quit. She did not like the fact that she had to hand over her life to the company and the demand of young kids, aging mother and career was too much and she felt completely cornered. She quit. I'm sure that took a lot of courage. She then started to buy properties so she basically manages properties and makes more money now then ever before - and she says she made good money. Her husband also left his damanding position and took on less demanding role. They are wise and lucky I must say.

There's another funny granma story. She doesn't want to use the chamber pot in front of TV. Why? because she's concerned that people in TV are watching her. I almost fell from my chair when I heard it, laughing hysterically.

Money bug and Boston trip

Auntie keeps assuring me that the money bug is staying put with her. Everytime she opens the sliding door it appears. So things are looking good.

Boston trip was fabulous. I went to the Fogg museum, the Science Museum, The Peabody museum and of course the Museum of Fine Arts.

Plus we had some fabulous meals, went sailing one afternoon and were on the swan boat.

Friday - arriving and dinner at China town - watched Gendarme à New York but fell asleep before finishing the movie.

Saturday - Fogg art museum, Lunch, Sailing, Profiterol and Cappucino then an excellent 3 course meal at this tiny Bistro -but this was the Restaurent week so they had special menu.

Sunday - Had breakfast with Alan then explored on my own. Went through Prudential, Boyleston shopping mall. Then to the Science Museum where they display real human bodies http://www.mos.org/bodyworlds This was very interesting and not as scary as I thougt.

Jenny and Alan had 20 + guests for BBQ feast. Then Jenny had to work and I finished the Portuguese Irregular Verbs. It was very funny.

Monday - Went for "American in Paris" exibit at the Museum of fine arts then off to Peabody museum for Pictures from Pusan during the Korean War. Since this museum was connected to the Natural History Museum I got to see the Glass Flowers as well. Went to Korean Galbi dinner at Koreana.

Tuesday came back to Montreal with Jenny and Wednes day a.m. I had another interview. Thursday - we, Jenny, Rosalba and I have found Eva - who we've been looking for last 3 years. It's been a productive week.

Visiting Jenny - in my dream + Dahn Goon history

In my dream, I was visiting Jenny. It was somewhere I was supposed to dress up - like a fancy party. I am also supposed to pack a swim suit because there's a facility where we could go for a swim. This is a recurring dream - about some of us going for a swim. I even remember this place where there's a 3 layers of swimming pools that I have seen in my other previous dreams.

I am just making sure I packed all the right things and also making sure I'm not an embarrassment because of my slowness. I guess that's been my concern all my life trying to catch up but never being able to.

In my life - in the awake state, I got this book as a gift from the Dahn Yoga place. In it, it talks about the ancient Korean history and how important it is for us to learn that history since as the story of Abraham and Isaac, Kain and Abel, Adam and Eve, it is critical for us to understand the history/myth of that life correctly as the philosophical and moral back bone of our lives.

I only know that my maternal great-grand father was the last head of the original Korean religion called Dae Jong Gyo (The great religion). The book was about the root of our history and religion of the Korean people. It was inspiring, made much sense. However I'm not too convinced that having 100 million people practicing Dan Hak will really bring about the all harmonious world. Then again it may not be about fixing the world but rather awakening and providing opportunities for those people to make a difference.

But I am certainly glad to find that what my great-grand father was teaching is on the revival after 2000 years of sleep and oblivion.

More dreams

I had a dream that Aunt and I are moving into a house that needs a lot of work but thankfully the guys - who are renting it to us are willing to fix it to our specification.

I also had a dream where I'm folding papers next to Bill Gates. He and I are doing the same task of folding papers. And this other guy is telling me that I can have my own Black Berry device - and I'm thinking, I haven't been hired and they want me to have a device already?

I also had this recurring theme in one of my other dreams - where I know I have a university degree but somehow I ended up back in high school and although it is something I already learned I'm having a hard time adjusting and relearning. This time finally someone is telling me that I no longer have to re-learn since I already graduated and have a higher education.

This was a busy morning.

More dreams

I had two interesting dreams lately. One was that I received a gift of jewelry - bracelet with Amethyst in the middle like an eye then some colorless -chrystals on either side. I took it but wasn't sure If this meant more pay back. In my dream I wondered if this was a good thing or not.

Another dream was that there's a warning that there's a racoon on the loose who is destroying the pumpkin leaves. I saw that he was devouring them but what I was seeing was a giant orange pumpkin that is hung and I was to protect it from the racoon.

Both seem like a good omen - jewels and giant orange pumpkin.

Back to sabbatical

I'm done with a task that took 54 hours to complete - it was estimated to be about 16 hours would be enough. In general, it took about 3 hours per month so I don't feel I was a slug.

Sorting/attaching to the right statements/entering in the computer.

Now I'm waiting to hear from this nice company and applied to another tech place a good friend of mine gave me the lead for. Also this Anthony Hopkins look-alike person called me - from England. He was visiting his parents so it took a while for him to call me. He sounds good and we'll meet next week some time.

The temperature shot down and I wonder if this is the beginning of the end of the summer -- sigh. I want to go to see Jenny in Boston.

Heck I need to study for my driving theory test next week.

Work and Play

As I have been somewhat working and looking into going back to work full time, I wonder what I've been doing with all of my free time.

Auntie's being the super human as usual. In fact, she sent me and mom summer shirts and excercise pants. She tells me that she's seen money bugs in numerous occasions and it should be a good luck sign for me. I believe her.

I went to St-Lazarre and spent the afternoon meditating by the pool side. It was just fabulous.

Another wonderful summer weekend is over and a few more in store. Must plan carefully.

Heavenly weekend

I learnt that Auntie's situation is somewhat controlled with the tenant and there's been some kind of equilibrium reached. His bullying found its limits with the solidarity of women friends as well. I'm forever grateful and admire the courage and strength of auntie.

Friday evening: unbelievable Karaoke session - with so much gusto, variety and talent. It was so satisfying.

Saturday evening: unbelievable Jazz ballet performance at the parc. The music, choreography and the surrounding scenary all were just amazing. The fountain changed the color once in a while and it was just the perfect summer night performance, sexy, romantic, humourous and original. The mango, strawberry, pineable hot pepper ice cream was just wonderful. But I realize I miss Adam and two other friends who moved away. I wonder if that's why the area of my heart chakra hurts.

Sunday: went for amazing brunch and went for a walk on Mt St. Bruno. We got to meet a turtle size of a mid-size frying pan. It was a surprise. Apprently it is a good omen. I also found a 4 leaved clover - I started to think I was losing touch.

So far, this has been an excellent weekend.

Sequal to Super Auntie

The tenant from hell was planning to make a few bucks by building some pic-nic sites (mostly for drinking and fighting rather) with another shady charactor. Wednesday with Policemen insisting all neibours to watch the sites were taken down.

Stories from Korea are sometimes more unreal than dramas on TV. I guess I should be grateful that the war did not happen in Korea at least.

Do I have the power to make something happen or am I just an observer and a coward? I feel like a fake sometimes. But where is the court?

Super Auntie

As the violent neibour of my aunt in Korea has been acting up lately, I had a couple of sleepless nights. He is such a bully he instills fear in all the people in the neibourhood and even the officials stand by and let him get away with breaking laws and threatening the people in the neibourhood.

I think Auntie is fed up with everyones, complete cowardice behavior and hiding behind their fears, so she wrote the request to the minister's website. So all of the misbehavior of everyone is in public domain without naming names. I feel so amazed at her courage and of course, their response was immediate. Officials called and visited all day. I do fear for her safety but then again the bully does what he feels like doing anyways and it won't help to let him get away forever bullying.

I pray that Archangel Michael protects her with iron armours and other angels 24/7.

I'm blessed to have friends who are so fun to be with and have generous, loving sprits. I found out again at the Birthday parties of my 2 sisters.

Encouraged

I have been encouraged lately. One of the reason was that I got a call from this technology place asking for a phone interview. It looks like they want the 2nd interview but that needs to be confirmed next week. Interview fairy -the one who trained me for hours - did a wonderful job. Also when I share even about my insecurities and even "failures" people seem to light up.

One woman yesterday told me that "Never underestimate you or your words", with teary eyes. Someone else said one of my quality was "cheerful personality". I felt lighter.

I found out HSP Dahn yoga has the reputation for being "Landmark for the body". I am not surprised. I feel rejuvenated these days. So, I'm expecting wonderful miracles to come my way.

Reflections and messages

I have been discouraged lately. It felt like I was kicked in the stomach a couple of times. I went to do my first theory course for driving and It wasn't bad. I got a call from JC and met him at a park. As I mentioned that I have a phone interview he started to prepare me in almost millitaristic fashion. I started to feel better as he got on with the logical explanation of what qualities I have and how they are valuable.

So, I'm ready for the interview and I felt relieved. In the evening I was thinking about the MC foundation project. I really did not have any handle on how I could go about finding the billionaire or the mega fundraiser. I felt suppressed. Then I remembered the presentation of John Hatch about getting 2.2 M people to give $1 a day. Then I felt lit up. It also made sense to me to get a project where an average person could participate and enroll others to make a huge difference. So I felt so much relief and thought I could stand for being part of that project.

I know that I can own and enroll others in that conversation.
So I feel light.

I had spoken with Ileana and Aunt - seems to feel much lighter today. What a lucky person I am.

Dream and injury

During the conference about a week ago, I had this dream that someone brought a puppy to me. I was concerned that this was going to be very distracting running around and barking. But when the puppy was put on the floor, it just spread its 4 legs and would not move. I felt bad for it and picked it up but was very weak.

On my way home by bus from Ottawa, I stood up to retrieve something from the over-head compartment and I heard this loud click around one of my knees and I was forced to sit down. I was in shock and was not sure if my left knee would support my weight. I managed to get out and massaged my knee and was able to walk home with my back pack but it just wasn't feeling right.

I went to HSP center to do some long overdue excercise and Crystal gave healing on my knee. After about an hour I could feel that it's about 60% back to how it was before. I could not move my foot left and right without feeling eerie discomfort but now I could. I still have problem bending all the way.

But the information from the injury is like - someone just knocked my knee - like one of the gangsters to collect the money owed.

I spoke with aunt in Korea. She tells me that students are not allowed to give salute to Korean flag anymore. It felt like being knocked off my knee as well. She's having trouble with the carpenter again. She doesn't need things but she says she needs me. I'm mentally preparing for that eventuality.

But it was so nice to come home to loving friends and mom.

There seems to be a definite water change happening - my originating circle and the future conversation.

Results conference

I was at the Results conference for the last week. It was fabulous in many ways and exhausting. There was a point I could not handle one more word coming out of somebody's mouth. It is work to listen to people.

I like the fact that there will be emphasis and funding for expansion. I like the new Model for fundraising - although it sounds tad manipulative. But Oklahoma group went from 12-15K to 50k and they are experimenting with Seattle, Denver and Houston.

I would very much like to be in that experiment.

Jim Kim was fabulous speaker and so was Barbara - the executive director. It is amazing to see so many staff.

North Korea and Enron guy

The major news items yesterday evening and today are the North Korea's missile testing and Ken Lay (Former Enron CEO) dying of heart attack.

The current South Korean government that's been acting pretty much like a pump that sucked the wealth out of South Korea to pour it down Kim's pocket is now losing ground everywhere. The physical attack for the potential opposition leader was a last cry, which of course, acted against its interest.

So Kim will, within a year, lose the abundant supply of wealth and I guess he wanted more from US, since it has more money. This is such a young, bratty spoiled behavior and South Korean leaders made it much worse by giving it what it asked for and more in the last few years.

Ken - I always wondered how he was able to keep the smile, smurk, arrogant confidence even with hand-cuffs on - like who are these monkeys who don't recognize his importance. I guess he finally realized he will go to jail, no matter whose shoulders he's been rubbing with in the past. So died at 64 years old. Reminds me of Tolstoy's "What men live by". Men don't know what they need.

More home improvement

Since I moved in to this appartment 5 years ago, I had a long bed sheet hanging on this bottom window. I finally took that down and covered it with papers with leaves motif. It looks so much nicer. I feel complete. I still want to paint and put in that last light fixture but I don't know when I will.

This paper has that Korean paper sliding door look and I feel cozy and it looks clean.

Yesterday, I ran into this couple who in my book has the most perfect relationship. The husband saw me first and almost did not recognize me. He said I looked great. The wife and I talked about the "foundation project. Then I was shoe shopping (got cute green shoes) and had some Italian Ice cream with a good friend. The weather was just so perfect. Happiness can be so simple.

Victory - health front

HSP yoga is paying off. I lost 3 lbs. Just from doing the intestine exercise. I did not expect it. Along with a sense of cleansing myself I feel more confident because I now have tools to make myself better anywhere, and I don't need to depend on pills or some other mysterious mixture.

Someone is tempting me to go to Korea or Dubai. I'm intrigued and wonder about it.

I also heard the rumour that Gates are planning to invest in Micro Finance.

My psychic told me that I'm looking for 3 in one deal - money, career and relationship. It's suppose to come together in the cookie cutter way - in very clear shape and size.

Two dreams:
Kind of a warning: The guy will behave with me exactly as he has been doing with his other girlfriends.

I'm in NY and looking for old friend. She seems to be alone with the child - her husband seems absent.

Explore the unknown

After waiting for a month and half for half hour phone meeting, finally it was done yesterday - about the foundation. It was discouraging and encouraging at the same time. It was enough to say no way not for me but for some reason I was willing to explore further. He was saying to be really worthwhile, the foundation should be able to raise about 4M per year after a couple of years of operation. Which means we need a mean sugar daddy/momma or someone who can raise millions of dollars without upfront salary promise OR both. So Cathy and I will explore who could be these people. Once we locate, he is willing to meet with them.

So I'm left with where will I generate income for myself? I did apply for this position found almost accidentally. I was a reference for someone applying for the company and at the end I asked about me and she said please send your CV. So I did. We shall see.

I enjoy my HSP yoga classes. I had a private lesson yesterday, because nobody else showed up, and I had this exercise to open my heart chakra and it still hurts.

Philanthropy

There was this big announcement that the 2nd richest man in the world will give most of his money to the foundation run by the richest mand in the world. I have new faith in humanity and the announcement included that a fraction of their wealth like 6 billion could eradicate Malaria.

I had a call with my partner for the big project in Calgary. It feels a bit more real now -- still in the stage of remember/forget.

I feel there are right signs from the Universe like the announcement above. Besides auntie will be praying with the special rosary.

Reference to end of measurement of time

I found the following comment in a book and and it is oddly similar to the dream I had about "The end of time".

"I thought of the Mayan calendar, which ends in 2012. Many people believe that this signals a coming of apocalypse. Yet the angels had always assured me that 2012 was the end of the measurement of time...not the end of time itself. The angels said that wearing watches and using calendars kept us locked in the third dimensional illusion of time. When we stopped measuring time mechanically, all seeming limitations would be lifted for us. We'd be able to re-access our naturally miraculous powers."

Hmmm. Interesting.

Impossible Promise

I was on the call with other Power and Contribution participants. There was a lady who expressed exactly what I'm going through and was relived to know that I'm not alone.

It is a terrifying experience to pursue what is your dream to the degree that we're willing to explore.

I had a call with someone on my team for Partnership Community coach this morning. We each saw something that wasn't available before and it was uplifting to be supported and to support another. This was the definition of play - give and take with no intent. That was what we did and just shifted a whole thing around. Loving this.

Chi and dream

The rythm dance teacher checked my chi and as initially diagnosed, the chi in my stomach area seems pretty blocked. Slight touch made me scream. Also I felt sharp pain all over my abdomen. She says because I started exercising, I would initially feel more pain because the cells are now awake to feel it. I introduced Rafika to the class and we had fun giggling through the class. Looking through their web site, I was impressed to find how this movement dahn yoga all over the world and apprently it could give you lots of energy and motivation after training for some time. I cannot wait.

I had a dream that where I used to work was in shambles. There was garbage everywhere and could not see people. I found, by accident, that there's a small package destined to me but someone wanted to borrow it so I let it go.

When I had a conversation with Ileana in 2004, I was willing to start from zero but not willing to be dragged down with anyone. So here I am willing to start from zero. This could possibly mean letting go of all I know, what I feel and think I'm good at.

The package that I sent to Aunt was received. As usual, Granma hijacked items that were not destined for her, like the rosary I got with pictures on both side of each beads. I meant for Aunt to have it since she dreamt of it 10 years ago. Of course, I know that this happens every single time but I keep forgetting. When will I ever learn?

More strange dream

After a 3 hour dancing on the Funky town disco floor, I had fallen asleep like a brick. It was fun and 2 friends who never went before said that they had fun and want to go back.

So in the morning, I had this dream that I was invited to a dinner put on by Angelina Jolie. She was cooking something real simple - like hot chicken sandwich and was busy serving, eating and wanted to hear about the fundraising project. I'm trying hard to keep her attention and was frustrated and annoyed that I could not get it, because there were about 12 others who wanted the same thing. She did however wrote down everything that I said on a small notebook. She seemed interested.

Fundraising

I was at this fundraising workshop all day today, part of the Summer session put on by Management and community development department of the Concordia University.

We had a diverse group of people from Hockey, Hatian orphanage, Cancer patient support, etc.

It was interesting to find out that we are doing mostly the right thing except for the part of acknowledging and upgrading donors. I was frightened at the thought of being the fundraiser day in and day out as a job. I wasn't sure if I could handle it. But then that is where I want to be powerful and effective. Because that would be the key to the kingdom. Maybe this is just a young conversation to be upgraded.

Well the session was animated and not a second was dull. The group was dynamic and no sappy noise was to be found.

I'm empowered to go back to the basics. Great letter, great phone call, have a meeting and have a powerful ask.

The job of the fundraiser is to acknowledge and cultivate. Always to have 7 ways to thank them. I'm going to be that person.

Airtime problem

I've been impatient with those who need to talk. Although what they say is mostly interesting I sometimes want to hear what other people have to say or just not hear the same voice for too long. Is this a disease of some kind?

The story with uncle's estranged family is getting more and more misterious. Now his estrange wife has completely lost credibility and we now suspect any of her story is true.

Life can be more incredible then drama sometimes.
I should dig into that driving manual.

Itching to make money

I registered for this Gi-gong, Korean dance/percussion excercise class today. For a few minutes, I thought it would be nice to become an instructor for something like this. Teach 3 days a week and do what I feel like for the rest of the week.

Given I have this lead for a job in "Technology", by thoughtful ex co-workers who I appreciate very much, as I was looking through some beautiful summer dresses I'm thinking - hmm, maybe I should start working again so that I can become a fearless consumer. I am tempted and losing patience.

When I called Alex last time his voice sounded all but choked and the sound came out all stressed. So I said we should do the call another time. Now I'm kind of stuck and don't want to face that again.

How do people keep on when there are not enough encouragement? I miss my partner in crime - Cathy.

I'll request the call to be delayed for when Cathy comes back in town and that she can be with us.

More dreams

Yesterday I had a dream that rain storms are coming and that the water is reaching the windows. I had to rescue everyone out of the house first then I left.

This morning I had a dream that I was working at this all French technology company. People were not friendly and although they say it is a "technology" company, what they cared about more was colors, looks, and esthetics. Funny I got a lead for a job at a French company today in the mail.

I registered for the Summer session on Community development at Concordia university. All over in my calendar it is supposed to be next week. Someone sent me an email mentioning the keynote speech - Make poverty illegal - then I thought wait -- that is supposed to be next Sunday. Then reading the brochure, I realized it is this week. So I scrambled myself to get there. Although I missed a good part of it in the morning but it was fabulous, nonetheless.

Some recommended readings:
Against Forgetting by Carolyn Forche.
Transforming ourselves, transforming the world by Brian Murphy (The presenter of the session).

When the Sun goes down, you can see the stars" - how knowledge blinds us from all other possibilities.

Terror comes from facing the big issue. Or being the private person in public.

Power and force, notion of empowerment individual vs. group.
Private vs. public. According to him there's no dichotomy.

Consciousness is a permanent discomfort.

We deliberately delude ourselves and when we're in silence we allow for the under current to come out and that could be something we experience as madness. However, the revolution, will not be "less" mad. We should embrace the madness - not try to manage or cope.

How to live an authentic life: Authenticity - root comes from author, as in self. In our aspiration, we ask for more in honor of what we already have. This is verifiable in the public domain as solidarity.

What is enough? How much is enough? It lives in the domain of quality and not in the domain of quantity.
At school you're taught that you're not enough.

The way to make change is to change. The verb to change is not transitive, doesn't require an object.
"Make poverty illegal". "Guaranteed annual income".

When we recover our innocence, we can forgive.

Those who drawn are those who cling to the shore.

Conclusion, in times of catastrophy, we must go into the river. and "We are enough".

Time as we know

Yesterday morning, I had this dream that all conventions, specifications that we know about time is going out the window. It actually showed graphically. Earth was holding onto this ring of light called time and that ring got out of the earth like a pearl being extracted from a clam shell. So naturally, I was asking myself what am I to do now?

I forgot about the dream until I was sitting in the Audience and Deepak Chopra spoke about time/space conitinuum and how we are mostly nothing - or lots of spaces around really tiny stuff.

Some gems:
From Zen and the Art of Motorcycle maintenance;
Physical discomfort doesn't mean much if it is not accompanied by mood.

From Deepak event:

We all have at least a million molecules in our body Jesus had in his body.
We all have several million molecules in our body that was in any other living thing a week ago.
A tree is our lungs - because if it doesn't breath, I don't.
Our ancesters - all of us have 2 parents, 4 grand-parents... and if one goes up far enough, you can see that you are a product of millions of great, great... parents, and if one of them wasn't there, you would not be here today.
Catapillar to become a butterfly.
Towards the late stages of a catapillar, it becomes consumptive (as humans are now called consumers). It consumes more than it needs so the body starts to decay. At some point this decay signals the Imagine cells to start grouping in clusters and these clusters of Imagine cells start connecting together.
The cells that are found in the wings of a butterfly can be found in human hearts. This really shows the true purpose of the human heart - to create possibilities, dreams and to be the agent of transformation.