After waiting for a month and half for half hour phone meeting, finally it was done yesterday - about the foundation. It was discouraging and encouraging at the same time. It was enough to say no way not for me but for some reason I was willing to explore further. He was saying to be really worthwhile, the foundation should be able to raise about 4M per year after a couple of years of operation. Which means we need a mean sugar daddy/momma or someone who can raise millions of dollars without upfront salary promise OR both. So Cathy and I will explore who could be these people. Once we locate, he is willing to meet with them.
So I'm left with where will I generate income for myself? I did apply for this position found almost accidentally. I was a reference for someone applying for the company and at the end I asked about me and she said please send your CV. So I did. We shall see.
I enjoy my HSP yoga classes. I had a private lesson yesterday, because nobody else showed up, and I had this exercise to open my heart chakra and it still hurts.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Philanthropy
There was this big announcement that the 2nd richest man in the world will give most of his money to the foundation run by the richest mand in the world. I have new faith in humanity and the announcement included that a fraction of their wealth like 6 billion could eradicate Malaria.
I had a call with my partner for the big project in Calgary. It feels a bit more real now -- still in the stage of remember/forget.
I feel there are right signs from the Universe like the announcement above. Besides auntie will be praying with the special rosary.
I had a call with my partner for the big project in Calgary. It feels a bit more real now -- still in the stage of remember/forget.
I feel there are right signs from the Universe like the announcement above. Besides auntie will be praying with the special rosary.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Reference to end of measurement of time
I found the following comment in a book and and it is oddly similar to the dream I had about "The end of time".
"I thought of the Mayan calendar, which ends in 2012. Many people believe that this signals a coming of apocalypse. Yet the angels had always assured me that 2012 was the end of the measurement of time...not the end of time itself. The angels said that wearing watches and using calendars kept us locked in the third dimensional illusion of time. When we stopped measuring time mechanically, all seeming limitations would be lifted for us. We'd be able to re-access our naturally miraculous powers."
Hmmm. Interesting.
"I thought of the Mayan calendar, which ends in 2012. Many people believe that this signals a coming of apocalypse. Yet the angels had always assured me that 2012 was the end of the measurement of time...not the end of time itself. The angels said that wearing watches and using calendars kept us locked in the third dimensional illusion of time. When we stopped measuring time mechanically, all seeming limitations would be lifted for us. We'd be able to re-access our naturally miraculous powers."
Hmmm. Interesting.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Impossible Promise
I was on the call with other Power and Contribution participants. There was a lady who expressed exactly what I'm going through and was relived to know that I'm not alone.
It is a terrifying experience to pursue what is your dream to the degree that we're willing to explore.
I had a call with someone on my team for Partnership Community coach this morning. We each saw something that wasn't available before and it was uplifting to be supported and to support another. This was the definition of play - give and take with no intent. That was what we did and just shifted a whole thing around. Loving this.
It is a terrifying experience to pursue what is your dream to the degree that we're willing to explore.
I had a call with someone on my team for Partnership Community coach this morning. We each saw something that wasn't available before and it was uplifting to be supported and to support another. This was the definition of play - give and take with no intent. That was what we did and just shifted a whole thing around. Loving this.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Chi and dream
The rythm dance teacher checked my chi and as initially diagnosed, the chi in my stomach area seems pretty blocked. Slight touch made me scream. Also I felt sharp pain all over my abdomen. She says because I started exercising, I would initially feel more pain because the cells are now awake to feel it. I introduced Rafika to the class and we had fun giggling through the class. Looking through their web site, I was impressed to find how this movement dahn yoga all over the world and apprently it could give you lots of energy and motivation after training for some time. I cannot wait.
I had a dream that where I used to work was in shambles. There was garbage everywhere and could not see people. I found, by accident, that there's a small package destined to me but someone wanted to borrow it so I let it go.
When I had a conversation with Ileana in 2004, I was willing to start from zero but not willing to be dragged down with anyone. So here I am willing to start from zero. This could possibly mean letting go of all I know, what I feel and think I'm good at.
The package that I sent to Aunt was received. As usual, Granma hijacked items that were not destined for her, like the rosary I got with pictures on both side of each beads. I meant for Aunt to have it since she dreamt of it 10 years ago. Of course, I know that this happens every single time but I keep forgetting. When will I ever learn?
I had a dream that where I used to work was in shambles. There was garbage everywhere and could not see people. I found, by accident, that there's a small package destined to me but someone wanted to borrow it so I let it go.
When I had a conversation with Ileana in 2004, I was willing to start from zero but not willing to be dragged down with anyone. So here I am willing to start from zero. This could possibly mean letting go of all I know, what I feel and think I'm good at.
The package that I sent to Aunt was received. As usual, Granma hijacked items that were not destined for her, like the rosary I got with pictures on both side of each beads. I meant for Aunt to have it since she dreamt of it 10 years ago. Of course, I know that this happens every single time but I keep forgetting. When will I ever learn?
Sunday, June 18, 2006
More strange dream
After a 3 hour dancing on the Funky town disco floor, I had fallen asleep like a brick. It was fun and 2 friends who never went before said that they had fun and want to go back.
So in the morning, I had this dream that I was invited to a dinner put on by Angelina Jolie. She was cooking something real simple - like hot chicken sandwich and was busy serving, eating and wanted to hear about the fundraising project. I'm trying hard to keep her attention and was frustrated and annoyed that I could not get it, because there were about 12 others who wanted the same thing. She did however wrote down everything that I said on a small notebook. She seemed interested.
So in the morning, I had this dream that I was invited to a dinner put on by Angelina Jolie. She was cooking something real simple - like hot chicken sandwich and was busy serving, eating and wanted to hear about the fundraising project. I'm trying hard to keep her attention and was frustrated and annoyed that I could not get it, because there were about 12 others who wanted the same thing. She did however wrote down everything that I said on a small notebook. She seemed interested.
Friday, June 16, 2006
Fundraising
I was at this fundraising workshop all day today, part of the Summer session put on by Management and community development department of the Concordia University.
We had a diverse group of people from Hockey, Hatian orphanage, Cancer patient support, etc.
It was interesting to find out that we are doing mostly the right thing except for the part of acknowledging and upgrading donors. I was frightened at the thought of being the fundraiser day in and day out as a job. I wasn't sure if I could handle it. But then that is where I want to be powerful and effective. Because that would be the key to the kingdom. Maybe this is just a young conversation to be upgraded.
Well the session was animated and not a second was dull. The group was dynamic and no sappy noise was to be found.
I'm empowered to go back to the basics. Great letter, great phone call, have a meeting and have a powerful ask.
The job of the fundraiser is to acknowledge and cultivate. Always to have 7 ways to thank them. I'm going to be that person.
We had a diverse group of people from Hockey, Hatian orphanage, Cancer patient support, etc.
It was interesting to find out that we are doing mostly the right thing except for the part of acknowledging and upgrading donors. I was frightened at the thought of being the fundraiser day in and day out as a job. I wasn't sure if I could handle it. But then that is where I want to be powerful and effective. Because that would be the key to the kingdom. Maybe this is just a young conversation to be upgraded.
Well the session was animated and not a second was dull. The group was dynamic and no sappy noise was to be found.
I'm empowered to go back to the basics. Great letter, great phone call, have a meeting and have a powerful ask.
The job of the fundraiser is to acknowledge and cultivate. Always to have 7 ways to thank them. I'm going to be that person.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Airtime problem
I've been impatient with those who need to talk. Although what they say is mostly interesting I sometimes want to hear what other people have to say or just not hear the same voice for too long. Is this a disease of some kind?
The story with uncle's estranged family is getting more and more misterious. Now his estrange wife has completely lost credibility and we now suspect any of her story is true.
Life can be more incredible then drama sometimes.
I should dig into that driving manual.
The story with uncle's estranged family is getting more and more misterious. Now his estrange wife has completely lost credibility and we now suspect any of her story is true.
Life can be more incredible then drama sometimes.
I should dig into that driving manual.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Itching to make money
I registered for this Gi-gong, Korean dance/percussion excercise class today. For a few minutes, I thought it would be nice to become an instructor for something like this. Teach 3 days a week and do what I feel like for the rest of the week.
Given I have this lead for a job in "Technology", by thoughtful ex co-workers who I appreciate very much, as I was looking through some beautiful summer dresses I'm thinking - hmm, maybe I should start working again so that I can become a fearless consumer. I am tempted and losing patience.
When I called Alex last time his voice sounded all but choked and the sound came out all stressed. So I said we should do the call another time. Now I'm kind of stuck and don't want to face that again.
How do people keep on when there are not enough encouragement? I miss my partner in crime - Cathy.
I'll request the call to be delayed for when Cathy comes back in town and that she can be with us.
Given I have this lead for a job in "Technology", by thoughtful ex co-workers who I appreciate very much, as I was looking through some beautiful summer dresses I'm thinking - hmm, maybe I should start working again so that I can become a fearless consumer. I am tempted and losing patience.
When I called Alex last time his voice sounded all but choked and the sound came out all stressed. So I said we should do the call another time. Now I'm kind of stuck and don't want to face that again.
How do people keep on when there are not enough encouragement? I miss my partner in crime - Cathy.
I'll request the call to be delayed for when Cathy comes back in town and that she can be with us.
Monday, June 12, 2006
More dreams
Yesterday I had a dream that rain storms are coming and that the water is reaching the windows. I had to rescue everyone out of the house first then I left.
This morning I had a dream that I was working at this all French technology company. People were not friendly and although they say it is a "technology" company, what they cared about more was colors, looks, and esthetics. Funny I got a lead for a job at a French company today in the mail.
I registered for the Summer session on Community development at Concordia university. All over in my calendar it is supposed to be next week. Someone sent me an email mentioning the keynote speech - Make poverty illegal - then I thought wait -- that is supposed to be next Sunday. Then reading the brochure, I realized it is this week. So I scrambled myself to get there. Although I missed a good part of it in the morning but it was fabulous, nonetheless.
Some recommended readings:
Against Forgetting by Carolyn Forche.
Transforming ourselves, transforming the world by Brian Murphy (The presenter of the session).
When the Sun goes down, you can see the stars" - how knowledge blinds us from all other possibilities.
Terror comes from facing the big issue. Or being the private person in public.
Power and force, notion of empowerment individual vs. group.
Private vs. public. According to him there's no dichotomy.
Consciousness is a permanent discomfort.
We deliberately delude ourselves and when we're in silence we allow for the under current to come out and that could be something we experience as madness. However, the revolution, will not be "less" mad. We should embrace the madness - not try to manage or cope.
How to live an authentic life: Authenticity - root comes from author, as in self. In our aspiration, we ask for more in honor of what we already have. This is verifiable in the public domain as solidarity.
What is enough? How much is enough? It lives in the domain of quality and not in the domain of quantity.
At school you're taught that you're not enough.
The way to make change is to change. The verb to change is not transitive, doesn't require an object.
"Make poverty illegal". "Guaranteed annual income".
When we recover our innocence, we can forgive.
Those who drawn are those who cling to the shore.
Conclusion, in times of catastrophy, we must go into the river. and "We are enough".
This morning I had a dream that I was working at this all French technology company. People were not friendly and although they say it is a "technology" company, what they cared about more was colors, looks, and esthetics. Funny I got a lead for a job at a French company today in the mail.
I registered for the Summer session on Community development at Concordia university. All over in my calendar it is supposed to be next week. Someone sent me an email mentioning the keynote speech - Make poverty illegal - then I thought wait -- that is supposed to be next Sunday. Then reading the brochure, I realized it is this week. So I scrambled myself to get there. Although I missed a good part of it in the morning but it was fabulous, nonetheless.
Some recommended readings:
Against Forgetting by Carolyn Forche.
Transforming ourselves, transforming the world by Brian Murphy (The presenter of the session).
When the Sun goes down, you can see the stars" - how knowledge blinds us from all other possibilities.
Terror comes from facing the big issue. Or being the private person in public.
Power and force, notion of empowerment individual vs. group.
Private vs. public. According to him there's no dichotomy.
Consciousness is a permanent discomfort.
We deliberately delude ourselves and when we're in silence we allow for the under current to come out and that could be something we experience as madness. However, the revolution, will not be "less" mad. We should embrace the madness - not try to manage or cope.
How to live an authentic life: Authenticity - root comes from author, as in self. In our aspiration, we ask for more in honor of what we already have. This is verifiable in the public domain as solidarity.
What is enough? How much is enough? It lives in the domain of quality and not in the domain of quantity.
At school you're taught that you're not enough.
The way to make change is to change. The verb to change is not transitive, doesn't require an object.
"Make poverty illegal". "Guaranteed annual income".
When we recover our innocence, we can forgive.
Those who drawn are those who cling to the shore.
Conclusion, in times of catastrophy, we must go into the river. and "We are enough".
Friday, June 09, 2006
Time as we know
Yesterday morning, I had this dream that all conventions, specifications that we know about time is going out the window. It actually showed graphically. Earth was holding onto this ring of light called time and that ring got out of the earth like a pearl being extracted from a clam shell. So naturally, I was asking myself what am I to do now?
I forgot about the dream until I was sitting in the Audience and Deepak Chopra spoke about time/space conitinuum and how we are mostly nothing - or lots of spaces around really tiny stuff.
Some gems:
From Zen and the Art of Motorcycle maintenance;
Physical discomfort doesn't mean much if it is not accompanied by mood.
From Deepak event:
We all have at least a million molecules in our body Jesus had in his body.
We all have several million molecules in our body that was in any other living thing a week ago.
A tree is our lungs - because if it doesn't breath, I don't.
Our ancesters - all of us have 2 parents, 4 grand-parents... and if one goes up far enough, you can see that you are a product of millions of great, great... parents, and if one of them wasn't there, you would not be here today.
Catapillar to become a butterfly.
Towards the late stages of a catapillar, it becomes consumptive (as humans are now called consumers). It consumes more than it needs so the body starts to decay. At some point this decay signals the Imagine cells to start grouping in clusters and these clusters of Imagine cells start connecting together.
The cells that are found in the wings of a butterfly can be found in human hearts. This really shows the true purpose of the human heart - to create possibilities, dreams and to be the agent of transformation.
I forgot about the dream until I was sitting in the Audience and Deepak Chopra spoke about time/space conitinuum and how we are mostly nothing - or lots of spaces around really tiny stuff.
Some gems:
From Zen and the Art of Motorcycle maintenance;
Physical discomfort doesn't mean much if it is not accompanied by mood.
From Deepak event:
We all have at least a million molecules in our body Jesus had in his body.
We all have several million molecules in our body that was in any other living thing a week ago.
A tree is our lungs - because if it doesn't breath, I don't.
Our ancesters - all of us have 2 parents, 4 grand-parents... and if one goes up far enough, you can see that you are a product of millions of great, great... parents, and if one of them wasn't there, you would not be here today.
Catapillar to become a butterfly.
Towards the late stages of a catapillar, it becomes consumptive (as humans are now called consumers). It consumes more than it needs so the body starts to decay. At some point this decay signals the Imagine cells to start grouping in clusters and these clusters of Imagine cells start connecting together.
The cells that are found in the wings of a butterfly can be found in human hearts. This really shows the true purpose of the human heart - to create possibilities, dreams and to be the agent of transformation.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Summer in Montreal
Things are getting hot and humid here. I need to get the Air Conditionner in or I will have sleepless nights all summer long. It is so great to take time to relax, not think, consider what I want to do each day and not having to fit it into a tight schedule.
I walked into the Cathedral bookstore but could not find the Margaret Mary Alacoque's auto biography. I'm intrested in her story of Sacred Heart of Jesus. I have this notion that Jesus doesn't show himself as often as Mary shows herself.
As always Aunt is the walking talking encyclopedia on the matter.
I am shopping around for a driving course and also for colors for my walls.
I walked into the Cathedral bookstore but could not find the Margaret Mary Alacoque's auto biography. I'm intrested in her story of Sacred Heart of Jesus. I have this notion that Jesus doesn't show himself as often as Mary shows herself.
As always Aunt is the walking talking encyclopedia on the matter.
I am shopping around for a driving course and also for colors for my walls.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
What have I learned?
Geometry, Economics, Circuits, Algebra, Boundary Valued Problems, Calculus, Linear Algebra, Korean, English, French, Spanish.. these are some of the countless courses and workshops I have taken in my life. I tell everyone there's one course that I took that really made the biggest difference in my life and I use everyday - it is typing class. Aside from that I must say the Landmark courses made the biggest impact in my life. The relationships, distinctions and support are what I can go back to making what I want out of my life possible.
Since the Bermuda - New paradigm for performance, and being turned down for Results job got my brain going full time, even though I'm super lazy in bodily action these days. I am beginning to question everything. What is important to me, what makes me effective and why, what do I take for granted that I have been taking for granted that may need a re-visit and re-examination.
Since the Bermuda - New paradigm for performance, and being turned down for Results job got my brain going full time, even though I'm super lazy in bodily action these days. I am beginning to question everything. What is important to me, what makes me effective and why, what do I take for granted that I have been taking for granted that may need a re-visit and re-examination.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Dreams and coincidences
I was talking to my aunt this morning and described an unusual rosary I found in the St-Teresa's church in Bermuda. My aunt is Teresa and the name is from the same saint - the little flower. Each of the beads has a picture of Mary on one side and a picture of Jesus on the other side.
She tells me that she saw this rosary over 10 years ago in one of her dreams. I could not believe how accurate she was describing it to me.
This is one of her propetic dreams I suppose.
She tells me that I'm to pray to be the instrument of God and not to pray to be successful. It makes total sense to me. I was going to send it to her but I'll borrow it from her for some time.
She reminded me of the time (1973-74) when my dad was missing for over 2 month and we got a telegram from the Inn that she saw him in her dream that day.
Can I use what I have to make a difference?
Terri was saying that even the things she doesn't like about herself gets used to making a difference. I woke up with that memory this morning. Being on the driver's seat requires learning to drive and drive safely and confidently. I'll take this time off to do make that happen in literal and spritual terms.
I remembered the early days when I was so thrilled to be working and making the minimum wage. Now I seek more fulfillment and opportunity to make a difference.
I remembered the early days when I was so thrilled to be working and making the minimum wage. Now I seek more fulfillment and opportunity to make a difference.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Bermuda
Bermuda was absolutely gorgeous. Although I did not get to dip my toes in that unbelieavable Turquois water once, I was privilleged and honored to meet my teachers who work so hard to make transformation more readily available. I'm moved inspired and awaken to what it means to have this technology available.
No I did not get the job. It took about all of 15 minutes of feeling totally horrible - like warm snake going around in my body then all of a sudden, I got over it. I'm happy we found the perfect candidate.
I talked it over with my mom and my good friend. I am clear that the perfect opportunity will open itself up and I trust myself to recognize it.
I got something handled in terms of trust over the weekend. I'm so proud to be in the presence of the teacher who so affected my life like no other, surrounded by all so intelligent, big-hearted, hard working, well spoken colleagues creating a new paradigm of performance.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
LODI
LODI stands for Long Overdue Item. I completed one of those today. I re-upholstered 6 dining room chairs. I've been meaning to do it since we moved to this place 5 years ago. I have bought the fabric, stapler and schotch guard. Today I finished re-upholstering and will do scotch guarding them some time later. But I have an amazing sense of accomplishment.
John went over with me the interview questions and kicked my butt. I now am re-interested in the job and I think I can have a good time at the interview tomorrow.
I found out that the name Grameen Canada has already been registered. I will have to find out if it has been incorporated. I will have to follow up with him when I come back from Burmuda.
Monday, May 08, 2006
Mom's outing
Mom is going out to see her friends from High School. She's dressed up in pink top and red shoes. I forgot that Mother's day is next week so I got her some flowers yesterday.
I heard from Alex -- we can only start speaking in June after his trip from Bangladesh and India. I am supposed to meet with Johanne today.
In the meantime, there were some upsetting news about some relatives in Korea that took some wind out but maybe this is what needs to take place to make a new start. I was concerned that uncle's paper would be screwed up but the lady at the lawyers office by-passed his delinquent behavior so the paper is safe. God must be so busy to take care of all these things so carefully.
Aunt must be exhausted.
Friday, May 05, 2006
One more step
I finished the "Knight in Rusty Armour". It was delightful and very apropos. Thanks to Sybille.
I sent off the 3 page document to Alex. I also got a phone call yesterday at 5:15 p.m. that Results wants to interview me for the National Coordinator position. I was getting all pissy that they weren't calling and now I wonder if they really want me or if it is just a polite, token gesture. I guess I'll find out next week. At least I guess this is saved my face somewhat.
It's all lined up next week. Monday, I'm having a follow-up conversation with Johanne -- just to update her on what's been going on. Then Tuesday I'm hoping I get an answer from Alex for a call with Alex and Cathy. Wednesday is the interview and Thursday I'm off to Burmuda for the meeting of brilliant minds, coming back on the 16th.
Cathy called and said how Alex C is now raising $1M per month thanks to this consultant who is now hired part-time by Results and the technology will be shared on the Leadership day at the Results International Conference. I'm all ears.
Auntie has connected the earphone so what I say to her will not be booming on her speakers. She was wispering because it was like 2 a.m. her time. She read the bit about "Can I will anthing to manifest" She said yes!
I sent off the 3 page document to Alex. I also got a phone call yesterday at 5:15 p.m. that Results wants to interview me for the National Coordinator position. I was getting all pissy that they weren't calling and now I wonder if they really want me or if it is just a polite, token gesture. I guess I'll find out next week. At least I guess this is saved my face somewhat.
It's all lined up next week. Monday, I'm having a follow-up conversation with Johanne -- just to update her on what's been going on. Then Tuesday I'm hoping I get an answer from Alex for a call with Alex and Cathy. Wednesday is the interview and Thursday I'm off to Burmuda for the meeting of brilliant minds, coming back on the 16th.
Cathy called and said how Alex C is now raising $1M per month thanks to this consultant who is now hired part-time by Results and the technology will be shared on the Leadership day at the Results International Conference. I'm all ears.
Auntie has connected the earphone so what I say to her will not be booming on her speakers. She was wispering because it was like 2 a.m. her time. She read the bit about "Can I will anthing to manifest" She said yes!
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
New red shoes
I'm ashamed to admit that yes, I bought another pair of red shoes. Not because I need them but they were just so cute and comfortable. Mom also bought a redder pair of swede shoes. I think I'll have a red shoes fashion show later but for now just the latest pair is on display. I found a 4 leaf clover yesterday. It seems that I just willed it to be there. Can I will other things to manifest?
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