Explore the unknown

After waiting for a month and half for half hour phone meeting, finally it was done yesterday - about the foundation. It was discouraging and encouraging at the same time. It was enough to say no way not for me but for some reason I was willing to explore further. He was saying to be really worthwhile, the foundation should be able to raise about 4M per year after a couple of years of operation. Which means we need a mean sugar daddy/momma or someone who can raise millions of dollars without upfront salary promise OR both. So Cathy and I will explore who could be these people. Once we locate, he is willing to meet with them.

So I'm left with where will I generate income for myself? I did apply for this position found almost accidentally. I was a reference for someone applying for the company and at the end I asked about me and she said please send your CV. So I did. We shall see.

I enjoy my HSP yoga classes. I had a private lesson yesterday, because nobody else showed up, and I had this exercise to open my heart chakra and it still hurts.

Philanthropy

There was this big announcement that the 2nd richest man in the world will give most of his money to the foundation run by the richest mand in the world. I have new faith in humanity and the announcement included that a fraction of their wealth like 6 billion could eradicate Malaria.

I had a call with my partner for the big project in Calgary. It feels a bit more real now -- still in the stage of remember/forget.

I feel there are right signs from the Universe like the announcement above. Besides auntie will be praying with the special rosary.

Reference to end of measurement of time

I found the following comment in a book and and it is oddly similar to the dream I had about "The end of time".

"I thought of the Mayan calendar, which ends in 2012. Many people believe that this signals a coming of apocalypse. Yet the angels had always assured me that 2012 was the end of the measurement of time...not the end of time itself. The angels said that wearing watches and using calendars kept us locked in the third dimensional illusion of time. When we stopped measuring time mechanically, all seeming limitations would be lifted for us. We'd be able to re-access our naturally miraculous powers."

Hmmm. Interesting.

Impossible Promise

I was on the call with other Power and Contribution participants. There was a lady who expressed exactly what I'm going through and was relived to know that I'm not alone.

It is a terrifying experience to pursue what is your dream to the degree that we're willing to explore.

I had a call with someone on my team for Partnership Community coach this morning. We each saw something that wasn't available before and it was uplifting to be supported and to support another. This was the definition of play - give and take with no intent. That was what we did and just shifted a whole thing around. Loving this.

Chi and dream

The rythm dance teacher checked my chi and as initially diagnosed, the chi in my stomach area seems pretty blocked. Slight touch made me scream. Also I felt sharp pain all over my abdomen. She says because I started exercising, I would initially feel more pain because the cells are now awake to feel it. I introduced Rafika to the class and we had fun giggling through the class. Looking through their web site, I was impressed to find how this movement dahn yoga all over the world and apprently it could give you lots of energy and motivation after training for some time. I cannot wait.

I had a dream that where I used to work was in shambles. There was garbage everywhere and could not see people. I found, by accident, that there's a small package destined to me but someone wanted to borrow it so I let it go.

When I had a conversation with Ileana in 2004, I was willing to start from zero but not willing to be dragged down with anyone. So here I am willing to start from zero. This could possibly mean letting go of all I know, what I feel and think I'm good at.

The package that I sent to Aunt was received. As usual, Granma hijacked items that were not destined for her, like the rosary I got with pictures on both side of each beads. I meant for Aunt to have it since she dreamt of it 10 years ago. Of course, I know that this happens every single time but I keep forgetting. When will I ever learn?

More strange dream

After a 3 hour dancing on the Funky town disco floor, I had fallen asleep like a brick. It was fun and 2 friends who never went before said that they had fun and want to go back.

So in the morning, I had this dream that I was invited to a dinner put on by Angelina Jolie. She was cooking something real simple - like hot chicken sandwich and was busy serving, eating and wanted to hear about the fundraising project. I'm trying hard to keep her attention and was frustrated and annoyed that I could not get it, because there were about 12 others who wanted the same thing. She did however wrote down everything that I said on a small notebook. She seemed interested.

Fundraising

I was at this fundraising workshop all day today, part of the Summer session put on by Management and community development department of the Concordia University.

We had a diverse group of people from Hockey, Hatian orphanage, Cancer patient support, etc.

It was interesting to find out that we are doing mostly the right thing except for the part of acknowledging and upgrading donors. I was frightened at the thought of being the fundraiser day in and day out as a job. I wasn't sure if I could handle it. But then that is where I want to be powerful and effective. Because that would be the key to the kingdom. Maybe this is just a young conversation to be upgraded.

Well the session was animated and not a second was dull. The group was dynamic and no sappy noise was to be found.

I'm empowered to go back to the basics. Great letter, great phone call, have a meeting and have a powerful ask.

The job of the fundraiser is to acknowledge and cultivate. Always to have 7 ways to thank them. I'm going to be that person.

Airtime problem

I've been impatient with those who need to talk. Although what they say is mostly interesting I sometimes want to hear what other people have to say or just not hear the same voice for too long. Is this a disease of some kind?

The story with uncle's estranged family is getting more and more misterious. Now his estrange wife has completely lost credibility and we now suspect any of her story is true.

Life can be more incredible then drama sometimes.
I should dig into that driving manual.

Itching to make money

I registered for this Gi-gong, Korean dance/percussion excercise class today. For a few minutes, I thought it would be nice to become an instructor for something like this. Teach 3 days a week and do what I feel like for the rest of the week.

Given I have this lead for a job in "Technology", by thoughtful ex co-workers who I appreciate very much, as I was looking through some beautiful summer dresses I'm thinking - hmm, maybe I should start working again so that I can become a fearless consumer. I am tempted and losing patience.

When I called Alex last time his voice sounded all but choked and the sound came out all stressed. So I said we should do the call another time. Now I'm kind of stuck and don't want to face that again.

How do people keep on when there are not enough encouragement? I miss my partner in crime - Cathy.

I'll request the call to be delayed for when Cathy comes back in town and that she can be with us.

More dreams

Yesterday I had a dream that rain storms are coming and that the water is reaching the windows. I had to rescue everyone out of the house first then I left.

This morning I had a dream that I was working at this all French technology company. People were not friendly and although they say it is a "technology" company, what they cared about more was colors, looks, and esthetics. Funny I got a lead for a job at a French company today in the mail.

I registered for the Summer session on Community development at Concordia university. All over in my calendar it is supposed to be next week. Someone sent me an email mentioning the keynote speech - Make poverty illegal - then I thought wait -- that is supposed to be next Sunday. Then reading the brochure, I realized it is this week. So I scrambled myself to get there. Although I missed a good part of it in the morning but it was fabulous, nonetheless.

Some recommended readings:
Against Forgetting by Carolyn Forche.
Transforming ourselves, transforming the world by Brian Murphy (The presenter of the session).

When the Sun goes down, you can see the stars" - how knowledge blinds us from all other possibilities.

Terror comes from facing the big issue. Or being the private person in public.

Power and force, notion of empowerment individual vs. group.
Private vs. public. According to him there's no dichotomy.

Consciousness is a permanent discomfort.

We deliberately delude ourselves and when we're in silence we allow for the under current to come out and that could be something we experience as madness. However, the revolution, will not be "less" mad. We should embrace the madness - not try to manage or cope.

How to live an authentic life: Authenticity - root comes from author, as in self. In our aspiration, we ask for more in honor of what we already have. This is verifiable in the public domain as solidarity.

What is enough? How much is enough? It lives in the domain of quality and not in the domain of quantity.
At school you're taught that you're not enough.

The way to make change is to change. The verb to change is not transitive, doesn't require an object.
"Make poverty illegal". "Guaranteed annual income".

When we recover our innocence, we can forgive.

Those who drawn are those who cling to the shore.

Conclusion, in times of catastrophy, we must go into the river. and "We are enough".

Time as we know

Yesterday morning, I had this dream that all conventions, specifications that we know about time is going out the window. It actually showed graphically. Earth was holding onto this ring of light called time and that ring got out of the earth like a pearl being extracted from a clam shell. So naturally, I was asking myself what am I to do now?

I forgot about the dream until I was sitting in the Audience and Deepak Chopra spoke about time/space conitinuum and how we are mostly nothing - or lots of spaces around really tiny stuff.

Some gems:
From Zen and the Art of Motorcycle maintenance;
Physical discomfort doesn't mean much if it is not accompanied by mood.

From Deepak event:

We all have at least a million molecules in our body Jesus had in his body.
We all have several million molecules in our body that was in any other living thing a week ago.
A tree is our lungs - because if it doesn't breath, I don't.
Our ancesters - all of us have 2 parents, 4 grand-parents... and if one goes up far enough, you can see that you are a product of millions of great, great... parents, and if one of them wasn't there, you would not be here today.
Catapillar to become a butterfly.
Towards the late stages of a catapillar, it becomes consumptive (as humans are now called consumers). It consumes more than it needs so the body starts to decay. At some point this decay signals the Imagine cells to start grouping in clusters and these clusters of Imagine cells start connecting together.
The cells that are found in the wings of a butterfly can be found in human hearts. This really shows the true purpose of the human heart - to create possibilities, dreams and to be the agent of transformation.